long term

I don't know where it came from or where it's going but this ache in my chest is swallowing me whole

gaping and smiling its scraggly-tooth smile and this hop-scotch heart isn't skipping for joy I'm falling with anticipation of contact with the iceberg ground take a breath pull me in let me push cause I'll never feel safe again whole again home again I'm drowning in the cavern beneath my breast I'm watching clouds roll by and planes blow past as I sink as you reach for my hand but the truth is I'm done trying to stand so ready to melt into nothing cause my whole world is mist by now and I've always missed how the rain used to beat when there was no sign of cover and I wonder what skin feels like to the raindrops and I wonder if tear drops have ever kissed your face in sympathy and I wonder how my hand feels to yours cause you always felt so warm

so warm I could melt into nothing

hold on hold on I'm not ready to fly yet I'm not ready to die yet I just want to know how your hair feels to the wind and how your fingers feel to the crumpled pages of novels long forgotten and letters never lost let's remember let's forget and then remember again the way our eyes met

it has never been easy to undo your corkscrew heart and it's never been easy to pry me apart but I've seen all of you and you have seen all of me what's left but to leave

why's it so hard to leave?