Forever

I want to own him.

I knew this the moment we met in the rain. So beautiful. So charming.

“I wanted to kiss you that night.” He told me two weeks later, lying in bed. The afterglow was swirling around us like a cocoon, keeping us in a drunken haze.

“I love you.”

He loves me. I need him like I need air. I can’t live without him. I won’t live without him.

“Let’s get an apartment. How about those new ones on Old Chicago Pike? They have three bedrooms. One for us, one for an office and one for Abby.”

I like those apartments. There is a strange sculpture in front of the rental office. It looks like half of a globe if you stare at it long enough. And Abby. Four years old. I love her. She’ll be mine too.

“I want to marry you.”

He’ll be mine forever. I’ll never let him go.

“Our babies will be special because they’ll be made from love.”

Babies. I never really wanted babies. For him, I’ll have babies. For him, I’ll have a dozen babies.

For him, I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything and everything.

“Did you get the rental application?”

I already filled out the application. I paid the deposit. First and last month. We will move in on the 15th.

“You’re sure you just want to leave the couch?”

I hate the couch. I already bought a new couch. I bought all new furniture actually.

“Tomorrow then. I’ll be here with the truck to pick your things up right after I tell her.”

Boxes full. Stacked high in the living room. Ready to go.

“I can’t leave.”

What? It’s not that complex. You say that you’re leaving her and leave.

“She says she won’t let me see Abby. Five years. I just need to wait five years until Abby is older.”

I hold the phone to my ear to protest, but he isn’t there.

I drive past his house. I drive past his job. Over and over.

One year, two years, three years, four years, five years. He will be back now.

I drive past his house. I drive past his job. Over and over.

Six years. He is one year late.

Seven years, ten years, Sixteen years. Twenty years.

Greying hair. Comb-over. Hanging belly.

I drive past his big new house with an underground pool. I drive past his job. Over and over.

He is mine. He belongs to me.

For him, I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything and everything.

For him, I’ll wait forever.