Territory

Ingredients:

1 neutered male cat (not declawed)

1 denim covered bean bag chair

1 short-tempered roommate

365 sq ft of living space

Instructions:

1) Place roommate's bean bag chair in comfy position in sunlight

2) Toss cat lightly on chair, ensuring it stays

3) Repeat for three weeks or as needed for fur build up

4) Bring short-tempered roommate to low boil

5) Allow roommate to continually toss cat off chair in cartoonish fight for dominance

5) Wait for cat to retaliate by dousing chair liberally in natural cat juices

6) Continue trying to live with both cat and roommate afterwards