Beautiful Lady
What a beautiful girl...
I looked up from my coffee, and there you were.
Walking along the store windows
off in your own little world
looking as innocent as a lamb in the woods.
But there I see behind you
several young boys watching you with glee.
No doubt they will try to mug you,
and I don't stand for that type of thing.
Leaving some cash and a tip, I leave.
I make a mental note that my counselor will not approve.
I just came out of a terrible marriage
the fourth one as a matter of fact.
My counselour has warned me to avoid the wiles of a woman
but you look so sweet and mild.
I step out of the coffee house
and quickly walk after the snickering boys.
I see why they would like you
all softness and curves.
I shake my head in disgust.
I won't think of you in that way.
I will not dishonor your body in this way.
I'm one of the few gentleman in existance,
and I will stay this way.
Your steps are like a gazelle's
in your pretty pink heels.
No doubt a small hint
at a still girlish way of living.
All pink shoes and curly hair
pinned back over your ears.
How I'd like to touch your hair...
your soft face...
your pink flesh...
your blood running fresh...
...but I am a gentleman.
Why can't all women be like you!
Youthful, fresh, clean, natural!
Your worst feature is the gobs of mascara on your large brown eyes!
Clean your face, beautiful girl.
Your eyes don't need anything to draw people's stares.
The boys before me pull out a knife.
I scoff, how tragic and immature.
Knives are not threatening to anyone with half a brain.
I used an axe on my first wife
when her hair started to turn gray.
My second with a lawn mower
purely an ironic accident
since she then refused to shave her legs.
My third was with a gun purley for convenience
you see she would just
never
shut
up
My fourth wife is still a mystery to me.
I'm pretty sure it was me,
but I can't seem to recall
They all blur together after awhile
The boys approach you like a pack of starving dogs
All teeth and malice, but no strength or resolve
You scream like the innocent lamb you are
I step from around the corner and bare my chest and arms
You see, I am a gentleman and I train like a real man
I'm far from skin and bone
I've spent so much time alone on the road
that my only peace is in marital memories and perfecting myself
Ha! The pissing cowards, they ran off in fear
I offer a gentle hand to you, just an offer if you need help up
Like a true lady you take it
You offer me thanks, and I simply show my hands
I'm just a poor man walking by
I just wanted to help was all
Your smile is so pretty...
Your eyes are so lovely...
Your smell is so heavenly...
It takes everything in me
to not taste your meat here.
Just one more time, I say to myself.
But no...
I'm a gentleman.
You offer to take me out to coffee, and I humble accept
I love the way your cheeks blush as I shake your hand goodbye.
As you walk away, I lick my palm
And shudder as I memorize the taste of your scent.
What a beautful lady...
And you'll make a beautiful bride.