Dog Dreams

Scotty was a dog, not unlike your own dog. Scotty, in fact, is a tribute to the canine that made the largest impact in your life. For even the end of the world cannot stop a dog’s fellowship to humanity.

Before Scotty even had a conscious thought, Sara was there. Her, and the two others in his pack were there together with Scotty to enjoy grand feasts, go-for-a-walks outside, and especially toytime with his ball. Scotty’s favorite memory was of Sara laying on the floor, staring at him with her lovely yellow tinged eyes. He always thought those eyes had this shine. A twinkling of communication that always spoke to him. Him only. In his younger years, Scotty would always try to surprise her by licking at her face whenever she was close enough. She would always laugh, and say: “No,” but Scotty always knew that Sara’s version of “no” was a friendly one.

When Scotty and Sara had grown up , Sara would say “no”, and “work”, and Scotty knew he would be left for hours. The rest of his pack friends were always gone in the mornings, so there was often no company while Scotty was on duty. His job was to watch his home from enemies. The wait was forever if there was no strange children and hooded figures to bark at. It took Scotty several years to learn to properly enjoy his solitude without Sara.

When he was very young, Scotty found certain ways to spend his boredom alone. He used to find great fun in ripping up the toilet paper. --Before a trip to the cage corrected that behavior. As soon as Scotty was forgiven and released from the cage did he decide to dive into an after-feast of bird on the forbidden counters above. He found out soon enough that his pack friends knew what he did, even if Scotty couldn’t understand how or why. All he knew was the cage meant that he was a bad dog.

In more recent days, Scotty found himself enjoying naps under the sunlight, where he can dream of Sara, and the things he’s always wanted to do. Constantly, Scotty found himself dreaming of go-for-a-walks. He didn’t even need to be outside! After trial and error, cages, and kinship, Scotty found the pack not only accepted his new habit, but encouraged it. When Scotty saw Sara looking at him after dreaming, she said he was doing “Nap-time.” So he wagged his tail, she laughed, and nap-time stayed. For Scotty, that simple kind of time travel was the cure to his torture away from Sara, and he loved it. However, Scotty never knew that a dream come true would bite him in the end.

Scotty was eating his daily breakfast as fast as he could muster. He was hungry from the long night at the foot of Sara’s bed, but he didn’t want to eat. He wanted to attend his daily goodbye to Sara. Often, sometimes with success, Scotty glued himself to the door to see if she would take him along, just this time. It failed though, and she said “No,” and “Work,” and that was that. He bathed in Sara’s hands for only a moment. Then she shut the door, off on her own go-for-a-walk. Her smell lingered just a short while. After waiting exactly 10 minutes to see if Sara forgot something, he did his rounds about the house. After inspecting the bathroom, the kitchen, the master bedroom, and out the windows, Scotty laid down on his favorite spot against the sun drenched rug illuminated by the window. He had decided to nap-time.

He found himself having a familiar go-for-a-walk, trotting along the concrete path by himself. Scotty busied himself with the smells of the trees, and the pollen that danced in the air. Today on this very bright day, everything had quieted down. There were no travel bugs along the middle of the road, when usually there would be at least a few to chase. Walking up the path, Scotty noticed a strange entity --he didn’t know if it was a man or a woman -- patting its knees and encouraging Scotty forward to meet it. Scotty was unsure of himself, but it didn’t seem like a stranger. As he got closer, Scotty noticed that it didn’t smell like anything. It was hard to look at too. Where what should have been it’s body was a blurry, black, and skinny mass that moved independent of the wind. It introduced itself.

“Hello, Scotty. Your pack friends would call me Death, but you can call me Salvation.” It said.

Curious, Scotty thought. The entity was talking to Scotty, but, unlike his packfriends, it spoke plainly inside his head. It’s voice sounded airy but firm, and talked to Scotty as if he was a part of his pack.

Scotty grunted and cocked his head. He didn’t know the meaning of death or salvation.

“I’ll show you,” Death or Salvation said.

And Scotty suddenly knew he would see the end of the world.

He was no longer on the familiar path but instead was facing the Earth from above. He somehow knew the name of the planet, and that this ball was home. First, the wispy fog of swirling blues and yellows of the aurora enveloped the world, turning and churning more red as the seconds counted down. After the aurora, swathes of the Earth burned where the solar flare hit the hardest. What didn’t burn yet, scorched fiercely later as the rest of the flare splashed across the surface. Scotty knew these things, but didn’t understand them. He also knew it didn’t matter. The Earth was his home, and he and Sara were going to be burned alive in it.

Scotty was forced to take the form of a portion of the gargantuan flare. He was careening at high speeds towards the Earth. He ruptured through the atmosphere, boiled away oceans, and burned all life trying to hide from his unending flame. All in the blink of an eye.

“The humans and all that they’ve touched will be cleansed for their sins in seven days, Scotty.” Death or Salvation said from nowhere. Then the image of his home interrupted Scotty’s mind. It flashed into flames. Scotty howled for it all to stop, and continued to howl when he awoke.

Even with the company of Sara, Scotty couldn’t stop shaking. He certainly couldn’t stop thinking about the reality of the situation. Scotty had always knew his nap-times were premonitions of things to come, but he’d never known them to be bad.

“You’re a good boy, Scotty.” Sara said before she continued her babbles. She seemed worried for Scotty, but Scotty was more worried about her, and he couldn’t tell her why.

She enveloped him in her warmth for hours, yet his shaking trembled to the core. Seven days until Sara’s gone, Scotty thought. And he whined to her. The rest of Scotty’s pack friends stopped by to greet them, though Scotty ignored everything. Even belly rubs couldn’t stop the knowledge of impending doom. During the attention, his pack friends babbled to each other and to Sara, where Scotty’s name came up a lot. The only word Scotty could understand was the word “vet”. Scotty groaned audibly just thinking about another visit to the cold place. He forced himself away from Sara, and further forced himself to drink from his water bowl. Scotty didn’t want to nap-time anymore. But he knew that in order to get answers that he would have to meet Death or Salvation again. Scotty thought of so many questions as he curled up next to Sara in bed.

Why do you want to kill Sara? Humanity? All of us? Why? Why… Why!? Scotty thought these things as loud as he whined. Eventually, he fell asleep. -- Not before focusing on Sara’s hand as she comforted him.

Scotty found himself to be a puppy again. He had almost forgotten what it was like to be this young. Full of excitement and wonder! The sun was out, and it was a rather hot day. In this dream, he was playing in the Park. --Or had been playing there. Scotty still had a ball in his mouth, like he was in the middle of a game of Fetch. However, no one was there to play. Except one. In the middle of the field, Death or Salvation was intently looking to the sky. Despite the fear, Scotty knew he had to approach. That he must approach, in order to save Sara’s life. At any cost. He dropped the ball, eyeing it longingly for a time before going on.

Now on unstable legs, he clumsily walked over to the entity’s side. Scotty sat beside it, when Death or Salvation bent down and reached out a hand to pet his head. Scotty immediately avoided the ethereal hand, and opted to lay down to soak up the sunshine instead.

There was silence for a moment. Then the creature spoke:

“I understand why you have so many questions,” Death or Salvation said.

Scotty looked up to study its eyes, though only saw darkened blurs across the whole of its gray white face. It seemed to smile at Scotty. Annoyingly, it prompted an involuntary wag of his puppy tail. A cloud had passed in front of the sun now, and darkened the park ever so slightly.

Why? Scotty thought to Death or Salvation.

The entity looked at the cloud, and said: “It’s like I said before, Scotty. The sins of humanity need to be washed away.”

Death or Salvation said this like it was a matter of fact. Scotty wasn’t so sure.

What sins? Scotty thought.

The dark mass appeared to have laughed.

“There are many, but I’ll only tell you the sins they have committed against you, Scotty.”

Scotty looked at his large paws, and pondered what it meant. Sins were a blank in his experience. Sara, and the rest of the pack had taken care of me since I was a puppy! I have Sara, and Sara has me, and more! I have a ball too, and my pack, and pets, and belly rubs, and I even join them in their feasts! Scotty thought. His tail thumped the grass just thinking about his life with Sara. He couldn’t think of anything more divine.

“What about the cage, Scotty?” It said.

Scotty was transported back to the thin metal bars, and uncomfortable towel bedding. Where he would go whenever he was a bad dog.

“There! Hold that thought.” Death or Salvation said.

Scotty found himself back in the park. The entity was cradling little Scotty in its arms now.

“Scotty, have you ever thought about what being a bad dog truly means?”

No. Scotty replied. He never wanted to know.

“Some would say the first sin against you, Scotty, would be that they prevented you from living the life you wanted to live.” Death or Salvation began walking.

“Why do your pack friends get to feast, when they only feed you scraps? Why can’t you go out into the world without them controlling your every move? You can’t even crap on the ground without them saying where to go. Why do you have to spend hours alone, where the only thing you can do is sleep to avoid it? It doesn’t seem so fair, does it Scotty?” It said.

Death or Salvation sat on the metal bench. Scotty wriggled himself free as soon as he had the chance, and opted instead to sit straight on the bench next to it. He looked at the cloud as it nearly passed the sun. He only just noticed he was starting to pant. Aside from that, Scotty couldn’t deny the questions Death or Salvation had asked. He couldn’t come up with a satisfactory answer. Even more importantly, Scotty wanted to beg the entity to spare Sara for being bad.

Whatever she’s done to me, she didn’t mean it! Scotty thought. She was just doing what she knew how to do!

Scotty could only think of Sara’s eyes. He didn’t want to see her burn. She’s a good girl, he pleaded to it.

“I should’ve known it was hard for a dog to see reason,” Death or Salvation said. The entity seemed to sigh in disappointment.

The sun emerged again, this time red hot. The temperature rose sharply, and the sky quickly turned from blue to orange. Scotty also began wheezing as the air suddenly dried. Around the hot bench, the grass had begun to wither, turning black before lighting aflame. When Scotty yelped in pain, Death or Salvation forcefully held him as they began burning too. Fur stuck to metal like charcoal. It was petting him all the while. The yelping continued until Scotty opened his eyes.

Instead of the entity next to him, Scotty saw Sara and her tears. Scotty knew he had been yelping in his sleep. Both Sara, and his pack friends had been woken up in the middle of the night. The alpha pack friend didn’t sound too happy to be woken up by Scotty. Though, to Scotty’s surprise, no one told him he was a bad boy. Throughout the night, Sara held Scotty in her arms again, Though, this time, there was no more sleep.

A few days had passed, and Scotty thought...no. He hoped that Death or Salvation had decided to stop the solar flare, and stop hurting Scotty in his dreams. Scotty also thought about what Death or Salvation had said. It was true that Scotty didn’t really get all that he wanted. Scotty began to feel resentful of his pack friends after the second dreamless day. On the fourth day alone, Scotty decided he would try to do whatever he wanted to do, and see if that would better his own life.

When Sara and the rest of the pack friends were gone, Scotty chewed at the toilet paper until he was content that every last piece of paper was shredded to his satisfaction. He jumped up on the forbidden counters, though this time he didn’t find any after-feast. So, he followed his nose and raided the garbage cans. There, he found morsels only a few days old and fresh enough to eat! Scotty had always wondered why his pack friends would throw anything so delicious away. Later that day, despite feeling guilty about his actions, Scotty opted to nap-time for the first time in a few days, all so he could see Sara again faster. The rug was tantalizingly warmer today, but Scotty avoided the sunlight.

There was only a black void this time. The only figure that was visible to Scotty was Death or Salvation. To Scotty’s horror, it had its blurry arms outstretched like it was greeting him, just like on the path. Scared of the void around him, and in disbelief that Death or Salvation was still there, Scotty ran. He ran in the blackness forever, it seemed. No matter how much Scotty wished to wake up and see Sara again, or for the scenery to change to familiarity, the void continued on, yet he felt wind on his face, and strange smells. Hours seemed to pass, and Scotty still ran faster than ever. Eventually, he was now sure that he was away from the thing. He turned to see Death or Salvation was in the same spot. Like he hadn’t gone anywhere at all.

“There’s no running away from me, I’m afraid,” It said.

Panting in exhaustion, and feeling hopeless, Scotty laid down and whimpered.

“There will be no more fire and burning this time, Scotty. I am back because I actually think you took to heart what I said. About humans.”

Scotty remembered the forbidden counters, and the trash, and the toilet paper, and felt disgusted with himself for being such a bad dog.

“Why is that so bad, though? It’s the humans that ruined the lives of all dogs, and more. They should burn for what they’ve done to you,” Death or Salvation replied.

Scotty thought he’s heard enough from this thing. This enemy, that would turn dogs bad and burn humans for living. Scotty barked at it.

“I’m not burning the humans, Scotty. This was always meant to be,” It said.

Scotty didn’t care, and he barked at Death or Salvation again. And again. The entity was visibly annoyed now.

“Don’t bark at me, dog! I’m trying to save you from their sin! Can’t you see?”

Scotty growled in reply and got closer to it.

“Can’t you see that they’ve turned nature against itself!?” Death or Salvation yelled in his mind.

Scotty stopped. He knew through experience that if humans could rule nature, than that was in their nature. Then Scotty thought that humans like Sara need dogs like Scotty to keep sane. Scotty remembered Sara yelling and crying nonsensically many times in his life before he had snuggled up against her. Lapping the sadness away. Scotty could calm humans, and he would certainly guard humans. It was what he was meant to do.

Death or Salvation took to take a step towards him, and it’s limbs shifted evasively.

“So that’s what you think, then, dog? You think humans and dogs are intertwined? Some of your kind would disagree.”

Scotty found himself above the parking lot of a shopping center, though how he came to know it was a shopping center was unknowable. It was still familiar, where Sara would sometimes take Scotty in her travel bug. In the lot, Scotty witnessed three humans beating a tired dog to death. They were laughing at their cruelty. Scotty knew their thoughts. They had decided to skip school, and noticed the old dog in the parking lot. Scotty focused on the one in the middle, who he knew had convinced the others that it would be fun to take a baseball bat to the dog’s skull. As the bat struck, Scotty felt it in its entirety. He was back in the void with Death or Salvation.

“Sara could kill you like that too, if she wanted to. If she had to.”

Scotty barked again at the liar. This boy was not Sara! Sara is not bad! The boy is bad! You are bad! Scotty snarled at the blur.

“No, Scotty. I’m afraid you are. You are a bad d-”

Scotty had jumped and toppled onto the being at full speed, and latched into its neck with his teeth. Hard enough to draw warm blood.

He suddenly found himself awake and snarling. Instead of Death or Salvation, Scotty found his teeth had actually sunken into Sara’s arm. She yelled in pain, and Scotty barked in surprise and released her.

“Bad dog!” Sara yelled.

To Scotty’s shame, blood had begun to pool into her hand and drip to the ground.

The last few hours were a frenzy of foreign shouting, “bad dog!”, and shunned silence as the rest of Scotty’s pack friends eventually came home to a ravaged house and a hurt pack member. Strange men in white and blue had been called to attend to Sara. Scotty longed to be with her, and he howled when they took her away. Scotty himself had been relegated to the cage, which was smaller than he remembered. Scotty could only lay down to sulk, and curse the entity for what it had done to him.

Scotty remained there for two days, and no matter how much he whined, he wasn’t let out besides a trip to relieve himself and to eat and drink. Each day grew hotter, which only multiplied Scotty’s fear of the inevitable. He heard constant talks of the vet, and much more babble, but Scotty didn’t know when he’d be going. The alpha pack friend was especially strict to Scotty. And of course he should be! Scotty thought. Scotty had been a bad dog because of his dreams. Sara had been gone during those few days too, and Scotty assumed that Sara was avoiding him. On the third day in the cage, early in the morning, his pack friends started to shout. It was the last day.

He sensed their fear, and Scotty couldn’t help himself but to bark uncontrollably. Let me out! You’ll die! We’ll all die! Let me see Sara! Scotty’s efforts were fruitless. Both of his remaining pack friends began to leave without him, and Scotty howled again. Let me join you! I’m not a bad dog, let me show you! Sara! Sara!

The alpha pack friend stopped in his tracks before closing the door behind him. With a loud shout, and a grunt, and the word “Scotty”, his packfriend opened the cage. Scotty tried following him through the front door, but was kicked away. The door was shut before Scotty could even protest again. He watched them go into their travel bug and speed away from their home.

Scotty knew that today was the last day. He waited at the door for hours, waiting for his pack to come back for him. They’re just on a go-for-a-walk, he thought. They’ll be back, he hoped. The sky was turning from blue to orange, albeit slower today than in Scotty’s dreams. Even being inside the cool home didn’t spare him from the encroaching heat. Scotty missed Sara deeply this day. The end of days.

Then came a rapping at the front door, and a crash. Instinctively, Scotty barked, but whined happily. They’re back! But it was only Sara that had burst through the door. She looked hurt, and just as confused as Scotty. A bandage was wrapped around her arm. Sara shouted louder than he’s ever heard her shout, and she rummaged around the house.

“Mom!” She said.

“Dad!” She cried.

But the pack friends had already gone. After shouting herself hoarse around the house, she collapsed on the bed. She looked at him sadly, though Scotty didn’t know why. She got up and picked him up, and carried him like she did when he was a puppy to bed. She began to cry, and Scotty howled with her. They both knew the end was coming.

After a time, they were silent. Scotty and Sara only looked at each other now. Scotty decided to lick at her nose to surprise her. Just one more time. She yelped in laughter, but began crying again too. Though they were supposed to be sleeping that night, Scotty knew that Sara wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. And for that, Scotty was happy. Scotty thought that maybe Sara had forgiven him for biting her. While she held him, he drifted off to sleep in the uncomfortable warmth.

This time Death or Salvation wasn’t there. Sara was there though, hugging him just above the Earth. After a long time, she ended the hug, and looked at Scotty. Scotty noticed her eyes were different now. A beautiful shade of green, but the twinkling there was the exact same. Together they witnessed the solar flare’s aurora, which continued after the world had burned to ashes. There, as the Earth burned, they conversed for the first time. Scotty told Sara of his dreams, and of Death or Salvation. Of how sorry he was for biting her. For not being able to tell them about the flare.

Sara listened to Scotty intently, and she smiled. She told him that she knew. That somehow, she knew more about the universe than she ever did alive. That Death or Salvation was a jealous and manipulative trickster taking advantage of a world well lived.

But Scotty had to know.

Am I a good boy, Sara? Scotty asked.

“You’re a good boy,” Sara said as a matter of fact: “The best boy.”

And Scotty knew he was.

__

“Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog;

but you’re never friendless ever, if you have a dog.”

- Douglas “Brother” Malloch, American Poet