Two Wholes

I want to love and I want to be loved the way I hear other people talk about their significant others but right now I’m not enough of a person to give what I have to someone else. I want what I am to be enough but I know it won’t be enough. I don’t want to be half of a whole...I want to be whole with complimenting pair so we can complement each other. I want someone to hold when I get cold at night. Someone who can handle me talking before I think. Someone to call me out on bullshit but right now I need to find balance in myself before I invite someone else in. I need to work on me but I want someone to talk to. Someone to love and to listen to. Someone I can love and miss and adore. I want to see them and smile because when I see them I see happiness but right now I need to be my own happiness before I let someone be mine.

So...maybe right now I just need a friend...and I work on the whole romantic relationship thing later. Maybe I’ll have a friend I click within a way that gives me a life partner. Someone I get and someone who gets me with us needing to explain. Someone on my side by choice. Someone who has a corner I can be in and doesn’t mind listening to me bitch and moan about writer’s block and how damn tired I am all the time. Maybe a friend is what I need right now before I get carried away in dreams of love. You can love a friend...right?

But...maybe I should wait to make friends till I live in one place...because right now I'm moving around too much. Maybe you can’t be actual good friends with someone you can’t see in person. Maybe I should wait...maybe in my head till is sort this out self-love is enough.