An Unexpected Theme

Star Wars: Episode 1 -

A ninja mime chases down a few rent-a-cops while a whining child fumbles his way through a civil war.

Star Wars: Episode 2 -

A culmination of terrible life choices results in one giant, raging ego. Also the whining child has grown up into a whining teenager and starts another war.

Star Wars: Episode 3 -

Everybody loves space opera, so I thought you might want some space opera in your space opera. Annoying teenager lashes out in self hatred and kills annoying children in an attempt to kill himself. Suicide attempt almost succeeds, but becomes a robot instead. Space ninja order eradicated.

Star Wars: Episode 4 -

If you thought the previous lead was annoying, whoa boy! Whining farm boy (annoyance must be hereditary) becomes Mary Sue and blows up a moon just to get revenge for a creepy old space ninja.

Star Wars: Episode 5 -

Like tandem skydiving, but instead tandem tantrum throwing. Robot from before channels his inner teenage angst to capture his teenage angsty progeny. Hands up - HAH! I remember something about a bunch of snow somewhere...

Star Wars: Episode 6 -

Teenage angst vanquished! ... Not. Whiny adult leads teddy bear rebellion against the space robot. Fireworks and booze for all the teddy bears. A weird love triangle gets resolved when it turns out the one redeeming factor about the whiny bunch is that they don't like incest.

Star Wars: Episode 7 -

Did you see episode 4? Replace whiny teenage boy with inexplicably perfect teenage girl. Everything else remains unchanged. Unofficial title is Star Wars Episode 7: The Search for More Merchandising.

Star Wars: Episode 8 -

Tonight, there's going to be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town! Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak, and every intelligent person even remotely associated with the project will abandon all hope and leave. The most boring space race of all time crawls on by while an insubordinate dick wad goes on a side quest. Girl Perfect meets whiny incestor who still hasn't found a cure for all the whining going on in the galaxy. Oh, did I forget to mention the most whiny of all characters, New Space Robot? Yeah. New Space Robot, version 2: now serving cheese with its whine.