I’m an addict. And I love it.

There are two ways to discover the real You:

1. Through your own experiential experience.

2. Through the eyes of a keen observer.

Forever the demon-child who never trusted anyone,

especially an external observer or teacher or mentor,

I chose Option #1 early on, thinking whatever I learned

would stay inside me and protect me from the outside world,

while nourishing me with priceless intel that would build

a better, faster, smarter, more-thinking me.

What I only recently learned is that,

to discover the real You, you have to stop everything

you're doing for a long period of time . . .

and take considerable time to examine all the details

of your life and lessons learned.

This process, though incalculably valuable, takes considerable time

and effort, spilled blood and brains, and much self-analysis

and diagnosis.

In the end, you are left with a personal vade mecum that

never leaves your side.

Here's what I have learned:

I'm an addict.

I am addicted to many beautiful and wondrous things:

vibrant and exciting life; delish spicy food; smart, thinking

and sensuous women; beautiful literary and visual art; ice cream;

and a thousand otherworldly treasures under the sun and celestia,

all things I cannot do without. To do so would kill my soul.

As an addict, I never pace myself like a smart marathoner would.

I binge.

Instead of taking a delicate teaspoon of X,

I do everything "10X" and stuff as much of

it into me as humanly possible,

to excite and fire every sensory receptor

into a cascade of colorful explosions,

one quickly following another,

painting my palate with an overload

of sensations that drive me to

orgasms

and bursts

and detonations

that

SHATTER

TRIGGER

IGNITE

BANG

BLAST

BOOM

ERUPT

every

volcano

inside

each

my

tectonic

cells.

And then I'm spent for days or weeks; months, even.

And have to regenerate and recuperate and recycle.

The detumescence is exhausting, the repair cycle costly.

Doing a simple cost-benefit analysis tells me one thing:

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am a 10X-Binge-Addict.

And I love it.