Late (Edited)

I looked at the man in the mirror, his green eyes rolling over the suit as I debated on which colored tie matched the gray suit more. From time to time, I would check the clock on my phone, though I knew I was already late. Everytime I checked, I got more anxious and put the phone to sleep only to unlock it again to see that not even a minute has passed. My eyes always went back to the full Windsor I was trying to accomplish. I only knew of three ways to tie a tie: the infamous Windsor, the half, and, my personal favorite, the four-in-hand. I was tying this Windsor for my father because, according to him, the four-in-hand was the poor man’s attempt. He would say it was lazy, and showed no self-discipline and when he saw me...if he saw me, I wanted him to say that my Windsor was perfect or at least think it. The half Windsor was considered slacker attire. “It tells people that you just didn’t put much thought in,” I heard his voice in my head the way I would hear my own thought.

My father’s voice brought my attention back to my phone. Sully was late. So late and my nerves, though shot, were beginning to tighten. So, after 40 minutes of trying to perfect it, I attempted the full Windsor once more. My fingers were moving on their own and my knuckles were beginning to cramp, but I was convinced this would be the one. All the same, my eyes fleeted back to my phone, skittishness settling in my shoulders and pushing them up slightly. I could feel my heartbeat quicken in my rib cage and, though I was completely aware of the changes in my demeanor, I couldn’t control it. My phone vibrated audibly on the porcelain sink and nearly fell off the edge. I caught it and read Sully’s name on the screen. I answered quickly, tapping on the speaker phone option. “Where the hell are you?” I snapped as soon as the line was open.

“Chill out,” Sully’s voice responded. “I’m sure dad won’t mind if we’re late. Besides, it’s raining hard out here traffic’s nuts-”

“Just because someone wouldn’t mind us being late doesn’t mean it’s a free freaking pass. Get here.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do-” I hung up, I didn’t need the added stress as I finished tying my tie. The third time was the charm, maybe there’s some truth to that saying. That or the luck of the Irish, either way the thing was immaculate. Just staring at it eased me, but only slightly. The fact of the matter was, we were still running late. 20 minutes and counting.

Exactly 10 minutes after my 4th cup of coffee, Sully pulled in front of my house. By that time, it almost felt as though coffee was the only thing keeping me moving. I didn’t eat this morning, but I had energy. It was manic energy, yes, but energy nonetheless. Sully was right about one thing, it was raining hard. The drops were heavy and loud against everything they touched and the sky was darker than it should have been at 3 pm. I grabbed the nearest umbrella to the door and open it before taking the short walk to Sully’s car. And in all of 20 seconds, the bottoms of my dress pants were soaked. I got into the car and, despite not looking at my twin brother, I can feel his smug gaze. “I told you so,” I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid they’d get stuck there. Sully has never been one to stay humble, though many would say the same about me.

The car ride was spent arguing. Or maybe it was more like me arguing with Sully. The worst part about arguing with him was he never really grasped the situation. He just gradually gave shorter and shorter responses until the other party has worn itself out. Generally the other party was me, and more often than not I would lose. “Are you even listening,” I complained loudly just before Sully slammed on the brake.

The car slid and I tightened my grip on the ‘oh shit’ bar above the passenger window. Sully jerked the vehicle to the side of the road and for the first time in the entire ride, I was speechless. My heartbeat seemed to take my voice and for a moment, I couldn’t move. “Are you gonna shut up, Olly?” He snapped, slamming his fists hard against the steering wheel. “ARE YOU GONNA SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”

“…..alright,” I barely even said as I felt the blood rush back to my knuckles.

“This...” Sully sighed and I began to recognize him again. “This just isn’t about you.”

And as if he didn’t almost kill us, Sully pulled back onto the road. The silence between us weighed heavy on my chest. I had nothing to complain about, but now I was stuck with my thoughts. Sully may have felt the same because moments later, he drowned out whatever hung above us with slow, alternative music. In time, the songs began to match the weather and the silence was filled with perfect synergy. It was short lived because 3 songs later, the cathedral came into view. When I saw the stained glass windows, everything went quiet. The rain was still pouring and the music was still playing but I heard nothing. I checked the time; we were 40 minutes late.

“Olly!” I heard my brother first before the sound rain began to sneak into my ears as well. When I came to, I realized, Sully was outside, waiting for me to climb out the car.

I grabbed my umbrella and opened it. Sully rushed underneath. “Oi, where’d you go, man?” He asked loudly as we neared the front doors. “I was calling you for, like, 10 seconds.”

I chose not to reply and closed my umbrella before we entered the cathedral. The entire family was still there. Lucky for Sully and I, the sobbing was nearly over when we burst into the room. We were soaked, my brother especially. The large, red, wet eyes of everyone at the pews landed on us and I wanted to shrink out of existence, but Sully walked in as if he were just on time. It was weird that he wasn’t acknowledging the fact that he almost killed us earlier. The altar boy gave me a program, and it seemed like we were just in time for my speech, of course. I took a deep breath and walked up to the pulpit. The place was quiet, but filled with people. I cleared my throat. “Do you like my tie,” my family and friends chuckled a bit. “Because my dad would have loved it.”

They laughed a little more joyously now and I looked at his casket and the made up face that looked just like my dad but...younger. If it were possible to look younger after death.