I Have Always Been Afraid

I have always been afraid of getting attached

Because people always leave

And no one seems to care that you have intertwined yourself with them.

They just go,

And in the process of abandonment

They rip you in half.

They tear off your skin

And leave you bleeding without a single concern.

I have always been afraid of wounds

Pain is a harsh reality

It hits you. Knocks the air from your lungs.

It rattles your secret treasures, and sometimes they shatter.

With each entanglement, I have become less valuable.

My worth decreases with each word my hosts never heard.

Carry me. I will carry you.

Attach your heart to my sleeve

And I will attach my soul to your bones.

We can live in harmony without harming each other.

I have always been afraid

And so I have kept myself at a safe distance from love.

Distancing myself from love has done just as much wounding as if I had loved and lost a million times.

I lost a love once. And I guess I am still healing

Sewing myself back together

Step by step, stitch my stitch.

It will take my whole life to be whole again.

It will take all I am, and all I will never be, to love again.

-AshleyAnne