I Have Always Been Afraid
I have always been afraid of getting attached
Because people always leave
And no one seems to care that you have intertwined yourself with them.
They just go,
And in the process of abandonment
They rip you in half.
They tear off your skin
And leave you bleeding without a single concern.
I have always been afraid of wounds
Pain is a harsh reality
It hits you. Knocks the air from your lungs.
It rattles your secret treasures, and sometimes they shatter.
With each entanglement, I have become less valuable.
My worth decreases with each word my hosts never heard.
Carry me. I will carry you.
Attach your heart to my sleeve
And I will attach my soul to your bones.
We can live in harmony without harming each other.
I have always been afraid
And so I have kept myself at a safe distance from love.
Distancing myself from love has done just as much wounding as if I had loved and lost a million times.
I lost a love once. And I guess I am still healing
Sewing myself back together
Step by step, stitch my stitch.
It will take my whole life to be whole again.
It will take all I am, and all I will never be, to love again.
-AshleyAnne