I’m Scared

My name is deduction,

If you cut me, I shall bleed.

I have twelve ribs,

And one rule:

What I know is all I need.

Beyond the iron gate,

Eastward to the rising sun,

Comes a pretty,

Little song,

That ends with a firing gun.

I know what lays out there,

Curled up, cold, and very deep;

The light I see,

Is Hellfire,

So I just go back to sleep.

There are far greater men,

Who have come and gone by me,

I don’t pretend,

That I am,

More virtuous than thee.

I am cool autumn rain,

Unremarkable and lame,

I haven’t got,

Nor do want,

The fulfillment that comes with fame.

It’s easy to pretend,

The pounding upon my door,

Is in my head;

I am dead,

And already damned for sure.

The ringing in my ears,

Still won’t just leave me alone,

Even as I,

Kneel and pray,

It chills me down to the bone.

The sky beyond the gate,

Becomes darker every day,

The fog is thick,

So is rain;

It’s melted my black to grey.

Heaven cannot be real,

I’ve lived without for this long.

I will not see,

It can’t be,

The finale of this song.

The ringing is a choir,

That shrieks until I’m awake.

So I get up,

And I see,

The shedded skin of a snake.

But what all does this mean?

Yesterday, I would have said,

It is nothing,

You’re dreaming,

Ignore it and go to bed.

This madness is too much,

So I resort to my creed,

That when I’m hurt,

Blood will spill;

Instead my skin wilts like weeds.

I sink down to the floor,

And put my head in my hand,

How can this be?

What is this?

Why do I not understand?

How I feel isn’t real,

I don’t know what’s in my chest,

Or in my house,

Or at all,

Or if I could even guess.

The singing gets louder,

I can tell they’re calling me;

All of my good,

And my bad,

Can no longer hide or flee.

The dark is ever closer,

I don’t know if I’ll be spared.

Heaven or Hell,

I don’t know,

And that unknown makes me scared.