Odd Happenings

I've led a life of odd happenings, little wrinkles in my life that do not belong. Many of them bad, some of them good, but rather than getting into those I feel a compilation of the weirdest or most uncommon circumstances or personality traits I have experienced would be most interesting to read. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed reliving them.

1. I got stung by a portuguese man-of-war when I was 11 years old. It got tangled in my hair when I was swimming in the ocean, and attached itself to my back before I could even scream. I was shrieking and crying (it was unimaginably painful), and the only thing my cousin said was, "Should I pee on it?"

2. I have the worst eyesight imagineable, and am far past the point of being considered legally blind if it weren't for my glasses. Two years ago I was comfortably wearing contacts, but when I realized all of my friends wore glasses, I started wearing mine too because I didn't want to be the odd one out.

3. I once accidentally exploded a cup on the stove when I was trying to make pasta. I didn't want to have to clean a whole pot so I, in all of my vast logic, decided to put the dry pasta in a cup, which at the time I thought was made of glass. Hint: it wasn't. Not five minutes passed before the cup, which I found then was plastic, exploded in all directions, effectively scaring the hell out of me and my poor dog. I still ate the pasta, though it was quite burnt and hard. Waste not want not, right?

4. I've started writing a million stories that I never finish. I would love to write a novel, but I have such a difficult time sticking with an idea after I have it, no matter how much I want to write. This is probably the most relatable thing I am writing about here.

5. I aggressively bite my nails and the skin around them, to the point where at least one of my fingers is bleeding at all times (currently, my right ring finger). I have calluses all over my fingers from the times when I bit them too much, but I don't mind too much. If anything, I can just blame it on my numerous neuroticisms.

6. Are you aware of the scene from Lady and the Tramp where the two dogs accidentally kiss because they eat the same strand of pasta? That happened to me with my best friend (at the time) when we were in 8th grade. It was an... experience.

7. I shot one of my friends in the throat with a nerf gun-esque toy, but it had more power. At the time it was hilarious, and now... it's still hilarious. I'm glad it happened too, because it turns out that friend turned into one of my biggest bullies. Now whenever I see her, I just think about the massive welt that she had for nearly a day on her throat, and I feel happy.

8. I nailed one of my friends in the face with a ping pong ball in our freshman year of highschool. Are you seeing a trend? I used to play tennis, and I decided it would be a good idea to spike a ping pong ball at a girl who had never played anything with a paddle/raquet in her life. It also may have been right before homecoming. Oops?

9. When I was a child, my cousins and I found a tree branch that had been carved by termites on the outside so there were maze-like designs completely covering the surface. It was the coolest thing we had ever seen, and naturally, we carried it around everywhere, romping around our grandparent's backyard whilst carrying the stick like it was an object touched by god. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure we did worship it.

10. My cousins and I also had a game that was essentially an aggressive, shockingly violent version of tag that revolved around a tiny, plush frog we named Larry. Whoever was in possession of Larry was immediately mobbed by the rest of the cousins, who all did their best to get Larry for themselves, no matter how underhanded they had to be to get it. It was all fun and games, with minimal crying and screaming, until one of my cousins who had Larry jumped. Off. The second story. Just to get away from the rest of us. He was fine, but earned an immediate punishment from our parents, and also earned the immediate respect of the rest of us.

I have a wealth of similar stories or weird personality traits I could share, but for now, this is all.