Dear Aliens,
Please take over our planet.
We’re confused. Divided, yet there’s this Me Too movement that’s like, really big? We hate each other for loving the wrong gender and daring to turn our own self-identity on its head, and then we hate ourselves for being so bigoted, and then we hate humanity as a whole for not just figuring this stuff out in the beginning so that we can focus on mourning for our fallen fave on the “Masked Singer.”
So you see, dear alien conquerors, we are weak prey. We can’t even pull it together long enough to stop poisoning our own planet.
Humanity on a whole is essentially a snake that, having decided its own tail is the enemy for any and every reason it could possibly think of, decided to go after itself instead of moving away from the truck roaring down the highway.
Yes. We are that stupid right now.
So what if gender is, like, a spectrum-rainbow-hybrid-mutated monster-thing? So what if we need to come up with five thousand new pronouns to avoid offending ourselves and everyone around us? We need to accept the “gender revolution” that has literally existed for as long as humans have known what love and lust are. And clearly, we haven’t.
I still hear teenage boys using "gay" and "queer" and other, unpostable words, as insults. I still talk to people who are confused, shocked, even horrified that their perception of life, religeon, marriage, everything has been shattered by a single relative and a mental closet. We are biting our own tail off instead of focusing on the actual problem. You know, the one that means the literal end of polar bears, sea life, most of the cutesy furry things we like to cuddle and coo sickeningly at, and (most importantly) humanity as a whole?
I mean, cockroaches will probably survive, but everything else will mutate drastically or just keel over and die. So in the grand scheme of things, does it really shock you that much that gender is essentially a pipe dream?
I’m wildly off topic now. Sorry.
Anyway, we are at the most vulnerable we have ever been. We hate each other because we don’t want to have our beliefs challenged. We hate ourselves because we know we shouldn’t hate each other. We want to throw nuclear bombs at people with different governments, different beliefs. If LGBTQ+ people were all on an island, there would probably be some threats aimed there too because they’re different. They don’t fit. And humans hate anything and everything that won’t fit, even though none of us fit perfectly in any mold.
But hey, maybe we’ll pull through this. Maybe we will tamp down sexism, racism, ageism... all the -ism’s, before something or someone kills us all.
And maybe serial killers will feel remorse, and Firefly will come back and not get cancelled this time, and people will start tolerating each other.
Maybe you, dear alien, actually exist.
But if you don’t, that’s okay too. We humans don’t really need help in the whole “death and destruction” department. But you know, if you want to help us out by giving us a common enemy to compare our humanity to, that would be great too. Nothing is more unifying than an imminent and deadly threat, according to every Marvel and DC superhero movie ever made.
All my love,
Hoping5214
P.S. If you really are out there, and feel like smushing some puny humans, aim for the politicians.