Life or death

There I lay in a hospital bed, comfortably numb from the bottle of opiates I had taken early that morning. I was left alone with my thoughts. Left to myself. Exactly where I needed to be. Earlier I had desperately tried to get my husband to confirm his love for me.... And he refused ... So I thought that if I threatened to kill myself then maybe I could get to him say those words I desperately longed to hear. "I love you".

As it turns out, he didn't. So now I have to convince the hospital staff that I am sane, and that I am not a threat to myself or a danger to others.

I lay there thinking about my children. About myself.

Then the epiphany came.

I am worthy of love, but I can not force anyone to love me. And if they do not love me then they are not worthy of me. I am valuable. I have a lot to live for.

No person is ever worth my life or death.