Learning All My Life

~A quickly written piece of my school life experience in a moment of great sadness~

"That was a bad term."

"Well, you were learning!"

But I've been learning all my life.

In grade three, my test book got mixed with someone else's and I was ridiculed for being stupid.

In grade four, I thought I had written a great poem, and when I handed it in the teacher yelled about how bad it was in front of the whole class.

In grade eight, I failed a math test and no one could look me in the eye.

I failed my French test and had to go up to the teacher in the halls and ask her to retake it. She made me tell her again that I failed so that she would let me try again.

I studied the hardest I've ever studied for a science test, and still got a C-.

I misheard the teacher during a spelling test, and had to ask him to tell me the words again after because I got confused. He got angry with me, and even when I got them all right in the end, I still cried.

In grade nine, I stayed almost every day after school to get math help but I still almost failed every test.

In grade ten, I stopped trying and my parents told me I just needed to put more effort in.

In grade eleven, I got my first 90, but by the end of the term it was a 70 because I just couldn't do well enough on my tests.

In grade twelve, I studied hard for a history test, but what I studied wasn't on the test. I wrote what I knew, still failed. My old best friend laughed and wondered how I could get an F-.

By then, I was used to it.

In first year of university, I was alone with no friends and barley got by. My marks were okay, I thought I was going to be okay.

In my second term of university, I took courses that I shouldn't have, I didn't understand them and I suffered because of it. My GPA dropped from a 7.00 to a 5.20.

In my first term of second year I wanted to go abroad, so I studied harder, gave up shifts so I could focus on school work.

The papers I wrote and edited multiple times only came back with C's.

The amounts I studied weren't good enough to get me a decent grade.

The academic advisor told me with a frown my GPA might not be good enough to get me into the abroad program.

My drawing has never been good enough to get me anywhere.

My studying has never been good enough.

It seems my writing has never been good enough either.

I wished one day to try my hand at writing a book. I write stories, not essays, but I can't help but feel that I'll get the same reaction with my own personal writing that I currently get from my essays.