I Won’t Mind

Don't look around

Keep your head down like a good girl, don't look people in the eye, you are a young lady, sit prim, sit proper, drink your tea with the pinkie out, put makeup on, let men touch you, listen to society and do not look around, because looking around leads to looking into people's eyes, which leads to disrespect, which leads to rebellion and so we women must be subdued.

Cause love is blind

Love turns a blind eye to the things that people deem "wrong" and helps the wrongdoers along in their crimes.

And darling, right now I can't see you.

The world is keeping us apart, so keep your head down and make your way through the crowd to me, and I'll take you in my arms and pet your hair and it will be alright, I swear.

I'm feeling proud

Code for I'm feeling rebellious, I think today, I'll uncross my legs and risk a glance around at the world, risk seeing someone's eyes connect with mine on the off chance they might be yours.

So without a doubt

Without a doubt, there is a small fire that no one is looking at and won't until it's too late and it's a roaring inferno that will eat everything and take the world and shake sense into it.

I can feel you.

I can feel you trembling in my arms, scared of rejection because what we have is considered wrong. Don't be love, because it's just as right as everything else in the world. What we have is pure and whole and true and I will protect it for both of us and I will protect you and hold you against the tide of people pulling us along. I will take the blows.

Cause we are who we are when no one's watching.

Secret touches hidden by shadows, secret, stolen moments when someone looks the other way, a small wink, a twitch, an almost imperceptible nod of the head. The subtle tugging of the ear which signifies neither of us shall sleep tonight, but it will be worth it because the hours will be better spent with you in my arms and your smell soaking into my skin and burning itself into my soul.

And right from the start, you know I got you.

Right when you make your way into my arms, you know I won't let you fall and sometimes I have to remind you, sometimes I have to hold you extra tight til the message sinks in.

Yeah you know I got you.

You know I have your back, that I will defend you, you know I would never hurt you.

I won't mind

I won't mind that you don't want to label us. That's perfectly fine. I won't mind that you aren't here, or that you are trying to sort out your feelings.

Even though I know you'll never be mine.

All that matters is that you're happy. Even if that means you come to the conclusion that we aren't meant to be, I won't mind.

I won't mind

I don't mind. You're happy, maybe a bit confused, but happy. That's all I ever minded.

Even though I know you'll never be mine.

Not in public, at least. If you want to hide our relationship, that's okay. As long as it makes you happy.

We messed around

We played around, friends, talking, never really expecting or anticipating more.

Until we found the one thing we said we couldn't live without.

Til we found love, born from the late nights and quiet plans, born from subtle signs and small treasures hidden by shadows.

I'm not allowed to talk about it.

We aren't allowed to even think about love that differs from what society says it should be. Society thinks it should stay between a man and a woman, thinks it to be a fake image that is easily torn, but this is only society's painting of it. Look at our painting that we gave birth to with our words and thoughts as brushes. Ours is there and small but real and strong and not torn apart with a few misplaced words.

But I gotta tell you.

That I love you. I love you more than I love art, more then I love writing, and even more then I love music. I love you more then I love the thought of a free society, I love you more than I want to go to college, I love you more than I love the thought of being perfect.

Cause we are who we are when no one's watching.

We touch and talk and exchange dreams and hopes and lives lost and found, like shiny coins on the shore of the ocean, we share tales that stem from the very center if being - but only when people are looking the other way.

And right from the start, you know I got you.

You know I hold your dreams and hopes and the stories you've told me, you know I hold them like the finest glass, and my hands tremble at the thought of finally holding your heart.

Yeah, you know I got you.

You know that if you were to fall, I would catch you, and if you needed to fall apart, just would help you tenderly pick every piece of yourself off and put you back together.

I won't mind.

I won't mind cutting myself on your edges because the scars will tie me to you, and all I want is to be next to you and if scars are what keeps me there, then I would have a thousand, no, a million scars.

Even though I know you'll never be mine.

Even though you might never kiss me in public, might never hold my hand in public, might never show me as more then a friend, I won't mind.

I won't mind.

I won't mind long nights and even longer days, I won't mind being a secret or a side chick, I won't mind being a door mat that you wipe your feet on before going inside to greet the person you really love.

Even though I know you'll never be mine.

Even if you never trust me with your heart, I'll still put myself out there for when you need me.