Denouement

So many people, all there for you...

I always wanted to be like you, you know? Confident, unapologetically you, headstrong, talented, strong, and seen by everyone. People wanted to be around you, wanted to be you.

Nobody's perfect, and it's not like you were, but such a beautiful person outshines their flaws. I mean, there were times I hated you so much I wished you would go far, far, away; but most the times I was just grateful there was someone who stood by me.

I was always so far behind you and no matter how fast I ran I could never catch up. But you weren't trying to get away from me, you were paving the way through a harsh and lonely world.

And now so many people are here to celebrate it, to celebrate you. I don't even know most of them.

Beautiful soul, the one woman calls you. I've never heard someone call you that before, but it fits. A beautiful soul you are.

I follow you out the door, just out of my reach and yet an eternity away. All I want to do is touch you.

And all I want to do as they lower you into the cold, unforgiving ground is say good-bye. But maybe it's the tears or all the people around me, but I can't say it, even in my head because I shouldn't be saying those words, now or ever.

Wrong. This is all wrong. These things happen to other people. They don't happen to us.

We shouldn't be here, you and I. Your fiance shouldn't be dressed in the same outfit she wore last Valentine's with a white rose from the flowers that will watch over you through the night. How ironic that the people who love life so much get so little of it...

The sun shines so brightly that evening and the birds sing so loudly. The world goes on, as though nothing ever happened. And maybe, as time passes, I will finally be able to say good-bye.

But it is not today.