It has been widely reported in the newspapers that a so-called puppet of the queen mother would appear on this week's programme.

To the press, the public and the many members of parliament who have so kindly rung in to complain, we would like to admit that this was an outrageous and contemptible untruth perpetrated by us, to bring us into line with current government policy guidelines.

Spitting Image have never made such a puppet and were on holiday at the time it wasn't made.

Thank you.

(Queen mum puppet walks across the screen. "What a pity, and I was so looking forward to it.")