If you can’t say anything nice...

I have never in life met a person I could not find even one good thing to say - until I met Her. I'll call her Kay. Kay wasn't nice. She wasn't pretty, or funny, or smart, or talented in any way. The only way I could say something remotely decent about her is to start with "maybe she doesn't..." Like "maybe she doesn't kill cats in her spare time" or "maybe she doesn't make babies cry." But with a face like hers, she probably did.

Kay dated my husband's best friend (we'll call him Jay), off and on, for years. Every time we met, Kay had that same sour look on her face. She didn't talk, didn't smile. She did this to everyone, even Jay. None of us understood why Jay was still with her. He would just say there was something about her that no one else saw.

Anyway, my then-boyfriend (now husband) proposed to me, and we shared the news with Jay, who was to be the best man. Jay came up to us a few days later and said how Kay had never been to a wedding and she always wanted to go. I told my then-boyfriend no. Kay was the only one I had ever banned from my wedding. I did not want that negative energy on our special day. But since Jay's car was acting up and he relied on Kay, I relented. What followed is the biggest "I-told-you-so" moment I ever had.

The day of the wedding. The minutes are ticking away, the ceremony soon to begin. No Jay, no Kay. The wedding starts. Vows are made, songs are sung, we kissed as husband and wife. No Jay, no Kay. Five minutes after it was all said and done, Jay enters the venue, fuming, with a sulking Kay bringing up the rear. Their reason for being late? Kay "took too long in the bathroom." Kay kept her surly expression throughout the reception. They argued on the way home. Jay pulled over. Kay pushed him into oncoming traffic. The car swerves, Jay survives. This is still not enough for Jay to finally leave this hateful woman.

Years pass; kids enter the picture. We meet up with Jay and Kay again. This time, she does speak - under her breath, she says hateful things about my kids. I wasn't told this until after we left. I had had enough. I opened my laptop, logged onto Facebook, and politely messaged Kay that what she did was unacceptable.

She came back with a snarky response. I said, "Lord, what should I do?" I got the feeling that I should stay respectful, so I followed up with a polite response. This time, her message was more hateful. I continued, "Lord, did you see that? I was nice, and she was evil." After another below-the-belt response from Kay, I lifted up one more prayer. "Lord, I'm gonna need to ask for forgiveness instead of permission for this one, because she's asking for it." I unloaded five years worth of pent-up frustration and birthed a letter so divinely profane and disrespectful that in our circle of friends, it is spoken of as legend to this day. I then blocked her and Jay from responding. I'm told the truths I laid bare in that letter led to their breakup. If so, all the better.

So if I've ever despised anyone in life, it would be her. And Kay, if you ever read this and recognize yourself, I meant those words a thousand times over. I hope one day you take all the money you have and use it to buy a heart to cover up that cold, soulless void in your chest. For me, I'm good. I don't hate you anymore - because I don't think about you. Best of luck to you and may our paths never cross again.