Roomba Romance?

Noah clicked the last piece of wood in place before sitting up and staring at his masterpiece. Numbers, letters, and symbols were spread across the room, rimmed with red paint. He never messed with this kind of stuff, and no one ever should, but the owners said they wanted the storage room in the basement to be their... "place".

Noah never mentions this so-called "game" by name, it was that bad, but he took the job anyway because he needed the money. With his creation complete, Noah left the premises, not expecting what he would find only a few weeks down the road.

The owners of the property, Daniel and Amy, call Noah back 16 to 17 days after the installation of their new flooring, letting him know something needed to be fixed. Taking his tools, Noah drove over to the old home at the end of Parkson Street. It was a run-down home that the owners were getting fixed up, and yet it didn't seem to have changed one bit since he'd last been here. Noah trudged up the steps in the chilly autumn wind, the creaks of the porch stairs their own kind of alarm. 

Opening the two cathedral doors to the house, Noah froze. A black blob with huge white teeth and bright green eyes clung to the wall of the living room. The living room was right across from the entry Noah stood in. 

"I told you that the china dishes were expensive Rhonda!" the creature shrieked in a very guttural tone of voice. He, or what Noah assumed to be a he, was looking down at the floor. Without moving my feet, Noah craned his neck so he could see what, or whom, the demon was yelling at. When Noah saw what it was, he had to choke back a laugh. A small, circular Roomba worked it's way across the floor, cleaning up the broken china that lay broken all over the floor. 

"Why won't you talk to me, Love!" the demon screamed again, green eyes turning orange-ish. "Is it because you feel guilty? What would our future children think! You're a mess, Doll!"

As expected, the Roomba didn't reply to him, so he flung himself off the wall and in front of the Roomba. When the Roomba changed course, the demon spit a glob of red onto the floor, muttering under his breath, "I'm leaving for a few days. Don't expect me back tonight, Rhonda. Don't bother to call me either."

He turned to leap for the door, but froze when he saw Noah by the entryway. Suddenly, he screamed. "Why is there a human in my house!"

Noah screamed likewise, eardrums ringing. "Why is there a dem-" he stopped mid-scream as he remembered the "game" situation downstairs. "Ugh!" Noah banged his head against the nearest wall.

"How long have you been standing there?" the demon-blob-fish asked. 

"About five minutes?" Noah replied, playing along with the Thing in front of him. 

"So you saw the whole thing?"

"I suppose so?"

"Never get married," the demon told Noah. "Women are a pain!"

Noah chuckled. Even if the pile of black goo was from another dimension (Noah assumed), he still understood a women's nature. 

"Are you sure she didn't just get some of that China stuck in her brushes?"

The demon laughed, a low gurgling sound. "Nah. My wife, Rhonda, is clean as a whistle. She's a mute though. You never know how she's feeling."

"Sure," Noah said, agreeing. If you could know how your Roomba was feeling... Nah. He wasn't going to go in that direction. "I'm just here to repair a broken board downstairs. I'll leave you and Roo... Rhonda to let off some steam."

With that, Noah walked downstairs to the "Game Room".

A demon having romance with a Roomba? Eh. Noah had seen worse.