This ain’t Snow White’s story.

Once upon a time, there was a stunningly gorgeous, yet jealous Queen who ruled a kingdom. One day, she waited patiently in her palace bedroom until at long last, a servant entered, awkwardly carrying a heavy item wrapped in a burlap sack. The Queen carefully pulled back the burlap to uncover a heavy, ornate mirror. Once it hung on her wall, she peered into it, asking:

"Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

After a long pause, the mirror replied, "Um...I...can't answer that."

Becoming slightly agitated, the Queen asked, "Why not?"

The mirror hesitated before responding. "Well, what kind of pretty are you looking for? I've seen some hot princesses if royalty is what you're after. There was that redhead, that Norwegian chick who didn't mind lettin' it go, the Asian girl who liked dressing like a boy...I mean, what're you into?"

"In....into?" the Queen sputtered. "I just want to know who is the fairest!"

The mirror's voice took on an annoyed tone. "That's not really my thing. Head back to the market - there's a magazine there that lists the most beautiful people every year. It changes, though, so who knows if it's reliable?"

Infuriated, the Queen shot back, "I spent good money on you! You were supposed to tell me that I am more beautiful than my stepdaughter!"

"Ah, so that's what this is about," the mirror said. "Listen lady, if you're so insecure that you have to talk to mirrors and hate on other girls instead of appreciating your own uniqueness, then your problem is way more than skin deep."

Crestfallen, the Queen finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Then what do I do?"

The mirror's tone softened a little. "Stop staring at me hoping someone else stares back at you. Appreciate you, and forget the rest."

Which is exactly what the Queen did - except for that one time of year that magazine published a new list of beauties. That day was reserved for ice cream and sweatpants.