I Hate Valentine’s Day!

I really fucked up today.

February 14th has never been my day. I won’t bore you with a list of my 10 worst Valentine’s days, and no, this one would not have made it on that list as of now anyway. But then again, my husband isn’t home from work yet to fully determine how bad things are going to get.

This morning I woke up to a text.

“Is this Leah?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

The next couple of messages went on to explain who it was and the reason for the message. It was a guy from one of my groups calling about a job opportunity he might know of.

None of this sounds like I fucked up yet huh? Just wait.

I thanked him for the heads up on the job lead, but of course, that couldn’t be the end of it.

“You married?” Came in seconds after I sent out my last text.

“Yep, I have been for 15 years now.”

This is where everything blows up. First off let me explain, I had just woken up. I was literally releasing my morning bladder while texting him back so what was said and done next I blame entirely on lack of coffee and shame. You see in my mind this is a person helping out another person- until the message becomes personal. What I should have done is thanked him for his offer and told him to piss off, but instead I have to go and mess everything up. The next text message he sends is,

“Too bad, because it looks like you give great head.”

I delete the whole damned conversation. This is the first conversation I have had this morning and it was with a stranger, to say the least. Now, I am feeling sick. I am ashamed of myself for giving out my number -job lead or not- and I’m

completely shocked by the early morning abruptness of this dude's last message. On top of that, it’s Valentine’s day and I don’t want to start it off by telling my husband what just transpired. Oh and I just deleted the conversation so I can’t show it to him now to prove myself. I know he must have seen the first message before I got up. My phone is always out and open. I have nothing to hide. Usually.

So I lie. Kind of. I tell him about the job lead, but tell him the text came from a girl I met at the group instead of telling him the truth.

Well, guess what? He takes one look at my phone, sees the conversation was deleted and leaves for work before I can try to apologize, come clean, and back myself out of the corner of deceit and shame I have thrown myself into this morning!

So, what do I do? I send him this huge freaking text trying to explain it all and to apologize for being an idiot. The worst part is I already know he won’t believe me. God, I hate Valentine’s Day.