Conscience Killer

[I’m a hitman. It’s not an easy job, but it’s what I do best. I don’t get to pick them. The order comes in and I never ask questions. I just do the job.]

As she walked into the living room there was a look on her face as if she knew what was going to happen. A single rose petal has already fallen off and landed on the table as if put there on purpose. The candles were freshly lit and the sounds of John Lennon’s “Love” echoes through the house. Every detail has been planned out to perfection. There isn’t one thing out of place. Everything is…just as she wanted.

John sat there with his hands shaking. Why was he so nervous? Thoughts about what she would do if she found out his secret ran through his head. This wasn’t the time to think about that. Could he really be nervous about this, though? He had developed nerves of steel. He had to break the tension.

“Love is real, real is love,” John starts to sing with the record that is slightly warped, but it was the only one he could find in such short notice. She loved old records. John was never a singer. In fact, when his high school had a musical, they asked him to be a stagehand. The reason is because everyone knew he couldn’t sing, nor should he attempt it. Tonight, he put all that aside and put forth his best effort. He couldn’t be scared. This isn’t about him. It’s about her. It’s all about her.

[I’m a hitman. It’s not an easy job, but it’s what I do best. The problem is that I have a conscience. It’s a heavy one, too. How does a hitman do his job when he feels guilty about what he is doing?]

Her countenance wasn’t like ever before. She was radiant. This was her moment and she knew it. Not one detail had been left out. For John, the best part about having her in his life was seeing her smile. Somehow, her smile would make his dark world seem a lot brighter. He had never seen her smile like this. His throat was dry and his hands were shaking, but he was ready. He was almost as nervous as the first time they met.

John, as Alexia knew him, came waltzing into the coffee shop one early morning; a coffee shop she frequented quite often. She would order her coffee, open her MacBook, and go to work. One of the highlights of being a successful online entrepreneur was getting to set her own hours and go wherever she wanted. This coffee shop was her favorite. She never bothered anyone else. Silently, she would sit there watching the people interact and scurry away to face their days. Her favorite was sitting at the coffee shop in the evenings because every now and then she would get to observe someone meeting for a first date. It was awkward, but she loved it. That’s when he walked in.

[I’m a hitman. It’s not an easy job, but it’s what I do best. The way I balance that pesky conscience of mine is to help my victim check something off their bucket list.]

John was different. He walked directly to her table, sat down, and stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. He was a somewhat rugged man who looked like he had been in a fight or two, but something about his eyes put her at ease; like everything was going to be okay. After a few seconds he finally broke the silence.

“Three weeks,” John blurted out. “Three weeks I have come in here with the intentions of talking to you, but we never cross paths. Do you know how frustrating that is?”

“Excuse me,” questioned Alexia. “First of all, I have no idea who you are. I would remember those eyes anywhere. Second…no really…who are you?”

“My name is John and we are going to go on a date today. We must. Unfortunately, you can’t say no.” John let out a chuckle because Alexia blushed, but gave a huge smile. That was the first time he fell in love with her smile. He was hooked.

“Oh, are we,” asked Alexia playfully. “And why do you think we are going to do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you and I are a lot alike. You like watching the couples interact. I have a habit of doing the same thing. So, I knew we would be a perfect match.” John took a sip of his black coffee and continued. “About that date. What’s your favorite food?”

“You’re definitely confident. That’s for sure. I guess since I can’t say no,” she paused and let out a slight laugh that would melt the heart of any man. “Soul food. That’s my favorite food and there isn’t one…”

“Aunt Mae’s on 32nd. Have you been there?”

[I’m a hitman. It’s not an easy job, but it’s what I do best. I’ve seen some dark things, done some dark things, but this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done.]

Tonight was the night, her night. John had planned for this night from almost the beginning. He knew it would happen after their first date. He knew that her favorite artist also shared the same first name as he did. He knew what her favorite love song from him was. Although cliche, he knew that her favorite flower was the white rose. Cooking was never his strong point, but he learned to cook homemade chicken and dumpling's from scratch. He did this just for her.

“John,” Alexia loudly shrieked. “This is beautiful! Holy shit, my mom is going to freak. Wait! Did she know? I had no idea. Did you talk to my dad? I bet they knew. That’s why they were acting weird on the phone earlier. How long did they know? Did you…”

After giving her a few minutes to work through her nerves and excitement, John was finally able to get her attention.

“Come here. Sit down. I have something for you.”

He handed her a small leather-bound journal, watched her open it, and she then began to read it. Inside it he had written very detailed notes about the two of them. Every page was filled with intimate details about each date they went on, how she seemed to almost skip with the first step when she was excited, and how she felt like she could rescue every stray cat she came across. John had detailed everything about their relationship. She sat there and flipped through it for 5 minutes carefully reading each word. She turned the final page and immediately started crying. Carved out inside the book was a place for a ring to fit. John got down on one knee and asked one simple question.

“Alexia, will you marry me?”

John knew he would be far too nervous to say anything beyond that. That’s why he gave her the journal. Alexia blubbered through the moment, but somewhere amid her unrecognizable speech he made out the word yes. Alexia’s picture-perfect moment was hers to remember. John had never felt happier.

[I’m a hitman. It’s not an easy job, but it’s what I do best. Today, I am helping my target check something off their bucket list…getting engaged.]