A Poem to those who saw me drowned and never moved

I watched your eyes—for any sign.

I watched your hands, legs, your movements—for any sign.

I watched—expecting a move forward; I'm drowning, and I'm waiting for you to make a move to save me.

Yet, you stood there; your eyes were blind or maybe they didn't see me. Didn't want to see me.

And the water continue to overwhelm me, choking me as it grabbed into its depths.

Let me tell you what's worse than drowning—it's when someone could save you but chose not to.

We are always watching, always waiting for someone to save us,

It's what my every move was for—the cries, the scream, the pleads—

For you to realize I needed you.

But you didn't. Or you didn't want to.

So I had to learn to swim,

Learn to float above this water,

Learn to survive in this mess I'm in.

I don't know what to feel about you,

Except to know that from the very start,

I never needed you,

And it was a feeling of freedom tinged with sadness,

For I would never know what it was like

To be saved by love and care.

And I would never know what it is like

To be responded to when I ask for help.