Adventuring Failures

I always thought that, no matter how stressful the situation, I would be able to push through it. Yet here in this critical moment I stand frozen unable to set one foot forward or backward. I watch the fight unfold as someone unrelated to its outcome.

To be fair, this entire venture has been one disaster after another. Our kamikaze leader takes any fight he can find in this monster-infested forest, often barely escaping with his life thanks to timely interference from me. Our archer bounces from tree to tree waging a personal war on the low-level nuisances. Oh, I'm not complaining. I just thought teams of adventurers deep in dangerous territory would fight, you know, as a team?

The other members group together nicely, though I suspect more out of a fear of death than any sense of strategy. I have given up on discovering why they fight one moment then flee the next. It seems to be based on which way the wind blows. Still, I wish our leader would learn something from them about self preservation.

I want to be the adventurer who asks, "How can I improve" instead of "Who can I blame." Yet as the situation continues to spiral it becomes increasingly difficult to discern my own mistakes from our award-winning lack of synergy.

Now the golden moment. At long last, our archer has set their sights on the same prey as the group. If we beat this monster, we can win. Our leader choses the perfect moment to rush in.

And I freeze. I watch as everyone fights. So many of our engages I've tried my best only to be met with unsatisfactory results. Now, when all that effort might pay off, I can't put my life on the line for this team anymore. Whatever the outcome, it has nothing to do with me.