Silence

The ocean is supposed to be loud. I can feel the breeze on my face and in my hair, I can feel the sand between my toes, and I can see the beautiful sun leaving to get ready for the next day.

But I cannot hear. I am deaf.

A hand waves in front of my face catching my attention, I looked up to make eye contact with him. My eyes shifted as I watched his hands move.

“Are you okay?” he signed

I smiled and nodded, “Let’s go.” I signed back and grabbed his hand.

We ran as the silent laughs wrapped around me, tripping and stumbling down a sand dune until we made it to our spot. A small patch of grass overlooking the beach.

I tackled him to the ground as I watched him laugh, his laughter addicting to my broken ears.

I rolled off of him and onto the ground. His hand found mine.

I watched the waves roll in and out trying to think back and remember what they sound like. I remember them being loud but comforting. I put it out of my mind because it didn’t matter at the moment. I turned to see him staring already. I smiled and laughed once again.

My smile faded slowly, if there was one thing I could wish for... it would be to hear his laugh right now.

I grabbed his hands to get his attention and then slowly brought them up to say something.

“Do you ever wish I could hear?” I signed. His eyes widened as he furiously shook his head. I was close enough to be able to read his lips.

“To me you’re perfect,” he said smiling but it didn’t reassure me.

“What about speak?” I signed knowing he knew I didn’t really like to speak. He got closer.

“You are perfect to me,” he said again, putting his hand on my heart. I smiled and nodded as he pulled me into a hug.

I tried to imagine his breathing and the sound of the waves once more but decided not to, that maybe silence is more defining. Silence means that everything else means more; touch, smell, sight. What I have is enough, I am lucky, and I am loved.

I looked back up.

“I love you,” I said, or at least I think I said it. He understood no matter and smiled mouthing, “I love you too” back.