Silas

I've made up my mind this time. I know I've talked to you about it a lot, but this time I'm going to and you can't talk me out of it. Not that you've ever tried to, you are too good of a listener for that. See this bridge above us, Silas? This bridge that shelters us and protects us, I've never been to the top of it. I figure jumping will be the easiest. Leigh and I used to jump all the time... base jumping or skydiving. I think it will feel familiar, being up there. Maybe it will even make me feel close to her again. I would like that, to feel as if I'm holding my love one last time. It's been so long. Yes, I love you too but it's not the same, you know. You're just a puppy, as alone as me. Well thats why I'm waiting until just before sunrise. Hank loves you too and he always goes by at sunrise. He will make sure you are taken care of. Besides, this highway is least busy then, and I don't want to jump in front of a car and ruin someone's day or make them feel like they killed me. I know how that feels. It doesn't go away, that's why I have to go. I can't take the feeling anymore. I know Leigh died because of the cancer, and the doctor said it was a very fast kind... and I know you can't give someone cancer. But, like her family said, maybe if I had seen the signs sooner, or made her see a doctor more often. Anyway, I'm not going to let anyone else feel responsible like this... not for me. Well, it's about time now, and traffic is light.

I'm glad you are safe below me, Silas. Everything looks so weird from up here. This rail is hard to balance on. I wonder if they make them that way on purpose. I don't know how long I'm supposed to wait to jump... you always see them wait a minute in the movies, usually someone comes to rescue them and make their lives ok again. I've given up on that, but I still want to do this the right way. Well this has probably been long enough. Besides, my legs are getting weak from balancing up here with all this wind. Goodbye, Silas.

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