The Worst Thing I Have Seen

I see it every single day. On good days... On bad days... It’s still painful but the pain has grown familiar after four years.

We were running to each other, so excited to embrace... Then she fell. I think I screamed her name but sounds are faint in my recollection. What haunts me were her eyes. Gone was everything I knew about her. My best friend, gone.

It seemed to take far too long to get her help. On the ride to the emergency room, I stayed at her side. She was unresponsive and, though I tried to hope, I think I knew I was going to lose her. I could see it in her eyes.

Stroke, they told us. It didn’t seem real, she was athletic and ate well. I had to wait outside the room for hours. When I finally got to see her, it was to say goodbye to a body without a consciousness. I had to be removed because I couldn’t let her go, even after watching her body join her mind. I wanted so badly for her to jump up and shock modern medicine. It might be silly, but I still feel guilty for leaving her body. Even more, I blame myself for her stroke. If I hadn’t gotten her excited, maybe she could have been around a little longer.

I miss her so much. I’ll always love you, MK.