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“The Coronavirus! There’s 2 confirmed cases in the province!!!!!”
I rub the sleep from my eyes as my mother runs around my room in a panicked state.
“Where are the clothe you wore yesterday?” she demands.
“Erm..”
“We must SANITIZE them right now, so where are they?”
“Um, I think they’re over there by the desk.....”
“Good. Now, where did you go last night, and who were you with?”
“Christ Mum, why are you panicking? This is the firest two cases......where was it even?”
“St. Charleston, but that hardly matters, who were you with AND WHERE WERE YOU???”
St. Charleston is 4 hours away by car. Christ, she’s losing her mind.
I won‘t be the one to tell her that though.
“I was at the library on 6th Ave with Candice and Franky. We went to the DQ on 4th Street after, and we got milkshakes.”
“Mhhm, and what kind of shake did you get?”
“I beg your pardon?”
Mum has whipped her phone out of her pocket and is frantically dialing. She glares at me. Her eyes are bloodshot.
“JEROME! What kind of shake did you get??? This is an emergency, could you take this seriously please? We have to make sure that the ice cream and toppings didn’t come from CHINA!”
Someone must have picked up on the other line of whomever she dialed, and she begins frantically talking to the person on the other end.
“What kind?” she mouths at me.
“Cherry.”
“Yes, he says he had a Cherry milkshake. I need to know where these ingredients were sourced from RIGHT NOW.”
Groaning, I get out of bed and walk towards my mother. I place my hand on her shoulder. She screams in horror and drops the phone. Completely forgetting about me and the phone call, she scurries out of the room.
“Hello?” C comes form the phone on the floor.
“Yeah, dont worry about anything she said. She’s going a little insane.”
I click end on the call as she comes hurtling back in the room, mask on her face, gloves on her hands, and a large plastic bag.
“What the hell?”
“Put your clothes in here, and dont touch me again. You, young sir, are under quarantine.”
“Fat chance of that. Calm down Mum, I’m not infected!”
“YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT!!!!!!!”
Dropping the bag, she begins throwing miscellaneous objects at me. Hand sanitizer, gloves, masks, Kleenex, bleach, 2 Costco sized packs of water, a bucket, garbage bags, duct tape, a baby monitor, and several cases of toilet paper.
“Christ Mum, where did you get this stuff?”
“I had to go out last night before the stores ran out of supplies. The apocalypse is coming! We must have enough supplies to last us for 6 months.”
I glance at the pile. “What am I supposed to eat?”
“You are on on 48 hour fast. If this water wont get that disease out of you, the starvation will.”
“That’s NOT how this works!!!”
“It is now. I will be back in 2 hours. The new shipment of canned goods should be hitting shelves in 20 minutes, and I must be the first one there. While I’m gone, please toss all of your belongings out the window, expect fro things that are non porous. Those things get bleached and sanitized. You should have enough toilet paper to make it through the fast. Also, please use the garbage bag and duct tape to seal off your door and window. We will use the baby monitor to communicate for the next 2 days. Godspeed son.”
A tear wells in her eye. “I love you son.”
She slams the door closed, and through the thin drywall I can hear the sound of duck tape being slapped on the frame of the door to seal me in.
Jesus, she’s lost her mind.
PSA I know the coronavirus is serious, but writing stupid shit is how I cope with stress.
Stay safe fellow Prose users, stay safe, hoard toilet paper, and wash your hands.