The Other Stall

"Excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom," you say as you get up before your blind date tries to cup a feel. 

There are three stalls and it looks like someone important is in the center. Another uniform is standing right outside of it. Can the poor person take a dump in piece? You ignore the toilet guard and enter the last stall. You make yourself comfortable.

It's too awkward to do anything so you decide to wait for them to leave and take out your phone. Then, you hear a weird noise in the stall next to you and accidentally drop the device. As you bend over and start to pick it up, you hear another strange noise and look to your left. 

There's something that looks like tentacles putting on a lump of flesh.

Horrified and fascinated at the same time, you stare in silence. The body suit slips and falls to the floor and you are met with the President's hollow face. Tentacle arms pick up the suit and the process continues. You sit back up and stay silent.

You didn't see things wrong. But...that must mean that...that creature.....is the President. The President is not human...

Toilet flushing. The thing opens the stall, walks out, washes its now hands, and leaves. The guard follows. You're finally alone.

You get up and zip yourself up. Nothing's happening today. You leave the stall, look in the mirror, and wash your hands.

Well. That's that. The President isn't human. That must be why there's an 80% approval record and a nearly impossible excellent track record. You dry off and go back to your date.

Whatever. A lot of other politicians are bigger monsters anyway. I guess "it" feels right at home. Who knows? Maybe this is for the best.

Your date looks at you and smiles as you sit down, a large chunk of salad stuck between the teeth.

Humanity's probably doomed either way.