404: Girlfriend Not Found
When I gaze in wonder upon the sexy beast in the mirror, lost in his ageless eyes, full of wisdom beyond his mere 24 years, I ask myself that nagging question: Is intelligence heritable, and if so, to what extent? Though not immediately obvious, the affirmation or negation of this statement has wide-ranging implications for politics, economics, biology, evolution, morality, the very meaning of life, and whether or not that jackass in front of me can truly be blamed for cutting me off in traffic. It's the difference between being regarded as a hero or a pariah. It's the difference between vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores. It is an absolute fact that pigs feel pain. It an absolute fact that bacon is the perfect balance of salty and savory, with every essential amino acid your body needs to become strong. On the subject of protein requirements, you can deduce from nutrition facts label on any item of food that the government recommends a daily intake of 50 grams of protein per day. This is worrisome. Any bodybuilding forum will tell you that, to properly build strength, you must eat approximately one gram of protein per pound of body weight per day. For a sexy, technically overweight beast like me, that comes out to about 200 grams per day. The following question is important, so I'll give it its own line:
Why does the government want to keep us weak?
Everything happens for a reason. There are a lot of high-profile arrests happening right now, under the guise of quarantine. To maintain public order, the civilians have been kept off the streets, from the most satanic friday (the 13th) in the calendar, 3.13.20, until the most holy friday (Good Friday), 4.10.20. The fourth, tenth, and twentieth letters together make DJT: Donald J. Trump. There may be more than one time machine in play here. Betelgeuse is waning: the fourth horseman has been sighted on his pallid horse. Epstein did in fact kill himself; he did it to gain immortality. Follow the molecule shaped like the white rabbit, acetylcholine. There should be a whole factory of it somewhere in China... where was it again? Wuhan. If you haven't already, now would be a good time to research the Bogdanoffs, the Rothschilds, and the other, more elusive convexes of the dodecagram. They are every voice you've ever heard in your ear.
I wake up in the middle of the night and I see entities. I refer to women as pretty-pretties. I refer to their breasts as boingy-boingies. I've seen memes you wouldn't believe. What a funeral procession looks like when they drop the coffin, and the body comes tumbling out. What two girls can do to one innocent cup. I've seen a man dressed as a five-point demon reading a book about inclusivity to a group of small children. I've seen things that have aged me. Things that couldn't possibly exist. Interracial Incest.
In conclusion, I am single.