rusted metal sunshine

Maybe you noticed when you started school. On the playground there were primary colors. There was the smell of juice dribble on pavement with ants, rusted metal sunshine, dust on rubber like kickball if you don’t want to play just sit in the dugout or maybe, maybe you had to play for gosh knows why. There were all the other children and you were there too. Well, I mean, it was more like you were near there. Or beside there. Definitely you were near beside there. Definitely you were not with the other children. Always not with. Indefinitely. It was lonely and made you tired and that’s just the way it was and is forever and ever amen.