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There’s an old zen koan that starts with the student asking the master, “What is Buddha mind?”

I’m paraphrasing. The actual question is “What is Buddha?”, but it translates better this way, to Buddha mind, because they're asking about the mental state of the enlightened, not the plump bronze monk most of us will imagine.

So the student asks, “What is Buddha mind?”

And the master replies, “fresh toilet paper.”

Paraphrasing. The master actually says, “a dry shit stick.” But accounting for cultural differences this is essentially the same item. It’s a tool for removing fecal matter from the backside. This one in particular is, as yet, unused.

What does this parable say to me during the time of Covid? I don’t know. I’m in Mexico and there was no toilet paper frenzy, for whatever reason that may be. I have theories.

But as I sit here, months from making my last prose post, I look back on that time :

day after day

night after night

sleepless and scrolling

grinding teeth through

news sites and twitter feeds

article after article

story after story

sucking words like oxygen

til I’m gasping for air

til my head may explode

choking on letters

like the drowning on waves

and now

I think I may understand

how Buddha mind

is a clean sheet

of toilet paper

just waiting

for some shit

to stick to it