Ella

I knew a girl named Ella, once. I love her now like a parent might love a murderer.

She was a bright child, creative and determined. A beacon of happiness as she played and danced without restraint. I choose to hold onto those bittersweet memories, because it's better than drowning in them.

For the longest time, I hated her. Just her name was enough to bring me to tears, and I tried to be the opposite of her in every way. It wasn't so much her that was the issue, but what she represented.

Now I can see that she's more like the person I want to be. It still hurts to hear her name, but I can't hate her. Not when she's the reason I'm the person I am today, not when she was just an innocent child who wanted the best for everyone.

I may have lost her, but at my core, I'm still the child I used to be.