Trials of Suspicion

How do you explain something your own mind is struggling to believe? Something you believe is true but you can’t pull together enough information to convince yourself? I was so stuck in my head, trying to remember every expression, infliction, and nuance while I looked at my notes, that as I sat at the table there wasn’t a single part of me that was uncomfortable with every person in the room giving me varying levels of disbelief and disgust.

My notes started to blur together as re-read and re-read them. Is it possible to know you have more than enough time to get something done but you still feel like everything is caving in on you? Maybe it’s because I was the only person in the room who seemed to be trying to look past the surface of what was being presented. Everything on the surface said she was guilty. Everything the witness said made her seem guilty.

And it was that ‘seem’ that held me back from just agreeing with everyone else. It wasn’t till I looked up and really took in how everyone was behaving that I realized that I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t as confident with the story the prosecutors were pulling together as they wanted us to be. Hell, I wasn’t even that confident in the story the defense was trying to spin.

Nothing seemed to fit into place. I needed to remind them to be critical, that we were here to judge her because we were and are her peers because it’s our job to think about this crime in the context of ‘we could have done something like this’. If we are her peers than we could have done something like this. It didn’t seem fair to pretend like we were so much better than her till we really took at the facts and the narratives that we are being fed. Few things in this world can be taken at face value especially when it’s coming to you via a third party and not the actual person who actually, maybe or maybe not, experienced it.

“All day we’ve listened to everyone else tell a story they weren’t really party, putting this murder into a context that might not even match up with what really happened. We watched the defense try and say it was self-defense which doesn’t seem like what happened at all. From the facts alone, she took $7,000 out of her bank account the morning he was killed and had booked a ticket from Chicago to Seattle the week before. Looking at the witness accounts we can see that looked like she was subtly saying goodbye to her friends and co-workers. The prosecutors are saying this was all her planning a speedy getaway once she offed her boyfriend.”

Everyone in the room nodded and gestured for me to continue like they were all assuming that this was me talking myself into agreeing with them. The pure exasperation the had started to fill the room made the back of my neck tingle but I steadied myself with the reminder that someone had to put in the effort to see if there was another way things could have gone.

"At the same time, we also know that the victim, Marcus, and his friend, Theo, are fighting, physically and verbally, because Marcus got Theo's sister pregnant. It was proven that Marcus was the father through a DNA test taken a month after the child was born." I flipped to the third page in my notepad.

"She had asked Theo to drive her to the airport because she knew one) he wouldn't be scared by Marcus and 2) that he wouldn't ask any questions. This does seem suspicious but when you take into account the notably aggressive and persistent nature of her boyfriend it makes sense why she wouldn't want anyone to have any information about where she was going."

Jury 7, Lisa Parker, raised her hand and spoke quickly splitting the once concentrated attention of the other jurors, "This doesn't make her sound innocent. Yes, she may have been in an unfortunate situation but that level secrecy isn't needed. All you are doing is pointing out why Theo had been considered a person of interest earlier in the investigation."

I leaned forward and made sure to look her straight in the eyes, "Exactly, but why was he dismissed from being a person of interest?"

There was a mixture of shrugs and whys that fluttered around the group.

A resisted the slight glimmer of hope that arose in me at the thought that this might be enough to get the ball rolling in a better direction. Well, rolling in the direction that I want it to go.

"He said that by the time he came in Marcus was already dead which was later proven to be a lie that he excused by saying 'he was afraid of saying anything else because the truth was that he had been too shocked to really take in the situation'. When was last time you were soo shocked by any situation that you couldn't remember a single observation or fact like the guy was dead when you walked into the room?"

The first person to break from either zoned out irritation or memory recalling was jury 10, Isaiah Brown, nodded and looked at me with a noticeable shift in his eyes that let me know that not only was he actually listening to what I was saying but that he was starting to agree with me.

"I was in a car crash four years ago. I was disoriented, panicked, and injured but I still remember how long it took for an ambulance to arrive, what song had started playing before I crashed and the name of the person who talked to me while they pulled me out of the wreck, Emma. Sure, memory is fallible but you are right saying that it's not that fallible."

Jury 3, Javier Hernandez, snorted "You talk about it like you had some picture-perfect memory of the crash when in reality, where we live, you remembered some relatively easy pieces of information. Panic can easily make events hard to recall. Imagine having your friend's girlfriend kill your friend, see his dead body, and then be left alone with her, possibly still holding a gun, and tell me how much of that your brain wouldn't try and make you forget leaving you to try and pull yourself out of the mess so no one points the finger at you because you were rightfully angry at him instead of his delusional runaway girlfriend."

"I may not think she's innocent but I sure as hell know that she's not delusional. He was mistreating her and she had every right to be afraid. I just don't think that stopped her from killing him." Lisa placed her hands on the table and took on an 'I dare you' vibe she locked down her eyes on Mr. Hernandez.

He rolled his eyes and leaned back taking a sip of his coffee completely disengaging from the group.

"Look, I'm glad you are starting to see the holes in this case but that doesn't bring us any closer to an agreement or a majority vote." Taking a deep breath I got ready for the argument I knew was coming. "I think Theo Dane is the murderer and that Idina is innocent."

Eyes bulged and people pushed back from the table groaning or already speaking the first things that came to mind.

"I'll give you she may not be a murder but completely innocent is a stretch." I didn't even have time to look to see who spoke before another sentence caught my attention.

"Innocent really? What more evidence do you need besides a getaway plan, motive, and the weapon? Do you want witness testimony from a fly a wall?"

"Okay, no need to be dramatic just because it's not as obvious as it was before who killed him."

"It is very obvious you are all just being persuaded by a mediocre agreement of innocence."

"They are asking us to decide if she's guilty on the charge of murder not if she was an accomplice if you want to argue about that keep your mouth shut."

"HEY!"

Everyone shut up and looked at the foreman, Brett Romano, as he started handing out pieces of paper to everyone on the jury.

"We are redoing the vote to see where we stand. Maybe we don't even half to keep arguing and if we do we need to know how many people we would need for either need for a majority or unanimous vote."

Mr. Hernandez bent his neck to give me a very pointed look, "I think we all know how many votes we'll need to get this over with."

God, he is so arrogant.

Once everyone was sitting down he started a 3-minute timer for everyone to calm down, gather their thoughts, and cast their votes.

My hand didn't shake this time as I wrote innocent down. She didn't kill anyone. She was innocent. I knew it, Theo knew it, I just hoped they all knew it too.

Well, everyone except Mr. Hernandez. I think Lisa can be swayed.