Juxtaposed Senses

Hi, my name is progressive hearing loss.

I am the condition your audiologist has prognose further confirming the diagnosis with the audiometric machine.

I am the reason why you can't hear as well as the others but still can hear just enough to convince you that you are not completely deaf.

Thus furthering your own conviction that you don't need hearing aids nor do you need to take sign language classes.

For the thought of wearing hearing aids frightens you when walking down the elementary school aisle and through your peripheral vision watching the peeping eyes staring at what's sticking out of your ears and because you have Dumbo ears it's hard not to noticed your ears getting red and redder. 

So you decide very early that you are not going to put them on out of embarrassment.

I mean, how are you going to get your first kiss when the girl that you like is caught staring at your ears the moment you come close face to face.... Ignoring your hazel eyes and only focusing on your obvious flaws. That you have hearing problems!

Also, how are you going to continue on fitting in with the cool kids? I mean, none of them have hearing aids, you're going to stand out even more so now than ever and it won't be because of your coolness, or eloquence or talents.....

But because you have your hearing aids sticking out like a sore thumb, a thorn on the sides like Paul suffered from, constantly reminding you that you suffer from deafness....... And that at any moment could be the very last time that you can hear your name being called out, listen to your favorite music being played out, and transmitting through the airwaves the phonics learned from your friends' ebonics 

Your audio senses is your weakness and the people around you sense your self consciousness about the faulty sensory 

Whenever you talk and speak and you're being looked at funny

Asking you where you from with that accent? 

This is the reason why taking those sign language classes unnerves you so much. For you believe that it ultimately shows you and the rest of the world that you believe so thoroughly in the audiologist's conclusion thus surrendering to Me, admitting defeat to your Goliath. That you will become deaf in the nearby future.

Afraid that you will become one of those kids that can't speak properly enunciating words the correct way....

"No, Jairo asi se dice la palabra"

"No, Jairo this is how you make this sound"

Stuttering, stammering, mumbling, bumbling, jumbling words together incoherently juxtaposing between you and everyone else

Losing train of thoughts and focus when speaking because you're unsure that the person you're talking to really said what you think you heard them really say.

I really do have control over your life

Much more than you're led to believe

I'm your most closely held secret tight lipped and well guarded in your heart

You don't want anyone to know what my name is......

My name is Progressive Hearing Loss 

Slowly chipping away your hair cells within your cochlea

Easily making sure that your hair cells lose the ability to transfer the vibration from the sound waves, short circuiting it. 

You may not know this but this is how I work.

The hair cells burrowed deep within the cochlea contains stereo cilia, little hairs that captures the vibration from the sound waves rocking it back and forth 

Normally if a sound is too loud then the stereo cilia can bend or break, killing your hearing, no longer able to regrow the hair cells back like the follicles on your head

But I wait through time, slowly working my way to do my job, to rob your precious sense of listening to the birds singing beautiful morning songs and the low notes of the bass groove that you so love to follow along with the pitter-patter pattern on the drums.

Shhhhhhhh................ I'm done listening to your soundless voice that constantly remind me about my condition. I'm ok. I'm no longer terrified of what will happen in the future. I'm going to enjoy life and like you have taught me in all of my experience, I adapt accordingly.

So you can be quiet and stay silent on these matters that only Yahweh knows how to deal with. 

God....... If I lose my hearing; at least I'll have your Holy Spirit's sweet melodic voice that none can compare nor match. 

I think I rather listen to you sing to me,

Father.