thinly spent

you carry sternness on your facial demeanor

stilted smiles, repressed gestures, awkward glances,

concealment of your true pain and misery

in the face of your children

that they might not see

i only know 

though i did not see

your worn joints’ stapled by arthritis pain 

yet you move; you do what you must

for those you love

squeezed tears’ flow in secret

revealed only to your steering column

i only know 

though i did not see

tears dripped off corners of your mascaraed eyes

slow streaks like a snail’s trail down your cheeks

your body like a working machine wearing out

squeezed tears’ flow in secret

i only know 

though i did not see

after 60 years

your organs inside

your uterus removed after two children

narrowly escaping dysplaysia of your cervix

’til its removal eight months post their birth

i only know 

though i did not see your tears’ fall

your breasts’ narrow escape from cancer’s cells

i only know 

though i did not see your tears’ fall

your skins’ inner layers concealing growing tumors

discovered insidiously by strange internal feelings

within your being

i only know 

though i did not see

because when i called,

through the years

and today again, 

as you were speeding away

to your obligations, responsibilities,

your duties,

through all the years

though i did not see

i could see your tears 

by the sound of your voice

it cracked at times 

as i asked,

it broke at times 

as i spoke,

it paused during all those times 

when i said,

“I’m concerned about your health;

I want you to come home;

I will attend to your obligations today.”