One

Every single day I wake,

I do a double take,

I remember the fate I choose to create,

Failure and self sabotage has since been my daily state

A lot of days,

Like a punch in the gut

I try to finesse myself,

destress myself,

Make lame excuses,

but the truth is,

I really freaking detest myself,

Everyday I beat the shit out of me,

As if someday it’ll set me free,

from one day a while past 1993,

When I made a mistake,

That set in motion more self loathing,

More self hatred more destructive force,

More than anyone could ever take,

I can say failure gives and failure takes,

Now I know my strength,

It took a hell of a long time to break me,

But as empty as I am I still give thanks,

Broken and empty but a man cautious in his mistakes.