For The Living

She thought that dying would be melodramatic and painful, but when it happened, there was very little drama, and the pain that she felt quickly faded like a daydream. It certainly wasn’t as bad as childbirth, and she lived through that.

She did remember feeling a massive pop in her chest, then she couldn’t take another breath. The dizziness hit her brain, and her last coherent memory was sliding out of her office chair and feeling embarrassed as her dress slid up her legs as she hit the floor.

After that, it was all a blur. Vague images came and went. She could feel being lifted onto a stretcher, then the bumps and knocks of being loaded in an ambulance. Voices faded in and out. She heard something about her blood pressure, pulse rate, and other medical terms she couldn’t grasp. It must have been her heart because she felt a blast of jolts has the doctor in the hospital hit her chest with those paddles that Hugh Laurie used on House. Then, everything faded into darkness.

When her vision cleared, she saw that she was in a hospital room, and she could see her own body. The doctor put the paddles away, checked her heart with his stethoscope, and shook his head at the nurse beside him. He said that the time of death was ten thirty-five, and he backed away as the nurse covered her face with a blanket. She watched all of this with bemused interest because now, she felt just fine. She moved closer to the blanket-covered body that she just occupied a few minutes ago, and she wasn’t surprised to see her hand sink through the blanket, as if she wasn’t part of the physical world anymore.

A voice spoke from behind her. “Hello, Tessie.”

She whirled around and saw a handsome young man wearing a flowing white robe. In fact, his entire body radiated a faint glow of the purest light.

“Who are you?”

“I’m your guardian angel.” He held out his hand. “Please come with me, and know true happiness.”

She glanced at her body and turned back. “If you were really a guardian angel, you could’ve prevented this and saved my life.”

The angel showed no offense. “Even angels cannot stop Death when it comes at the appointed time.” He still had his hand out for her. “Please come with me now, and forget all the things of this temporary world.”

She wanted to grasp that glowing hand, but she looked back at the cooling body on the hospital bed. “Can I at least stay here long enough to see my funeral? My family and friends will be devastated when they hear about my death. I want my presence to be there for their comfort.”

“Tessie, they wouldn’t know that you were there. You are a spirit now and have no place or connection here. And funerals are meant for the living, not the dead. You should never attend your own funeral. I’ve seen it before, and it never ends well. Please, just take my hand, and you will see wonders that no living creature has ever seen.”

Tessie thought about this, but her mind went back to her husband Bill, and their daughter Emily. Then there was her sister Melissa, and her co-workers at the office. She still wanted to see them, and be with them as they grieved their loss as they said their goodbyes.

“Thanks, but I still want to see it, and be with my family one last time.”

The angel didn’t show any sign of anger or impatience. He lowered his hand and said, "Very well, you can stay long enough for your funeral, but I shall return for you once it is over.”

He faded out into nothingness, and she was alone.

She spent the next few days drifting through a world that she had no part in. She could see and hear, but she felt nothing. Not the warming rays of the sun, or the cool night breeze. She enjoyed the sunrise and sunset, but she didn’t get tired or sleepy. She moved among people and was pretty disturbed that they walked right through her. But she remembered what the angel said. She had no place here, so when the day of her funeral arrived, it came with mild relief.

She was in the viewing room at the Forest Park Funeral Home. She had set up her own burial plan there because she was impressed with the service they provided when her own dear mother passed on. She looked on her own corpse that was placed in a fine ivory-colored coffin with a pink silk-lined interior. It was all done according to her requests when she set up her plan. However, she thought the mortician went a bit overboard with the painted blush on her dead cheeks.

She watched as her family walked inside and sat down in the pews that faced the podium as gentle hymns played on the speakers. When everyone was seated, the music stopped, and Reverend James began to speak.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to pay respects to the passing of Theresa Nettle. Theresa passed away at the age of forty-eight, and she is survived by her husband, her daughter, and her sister. I know that there are also many of her friends are here, and we thank you for taking the time to show your support for her family. Now, I will step aside, and let Mr. Nettle say a few words.”

Her husband Bill, who proposed to her just after their high school graduation, stood up and took the Reverend’s place behind the podium. Tessie wanted to reach out to him but wondered why he wasn’t wearing his black suit. She then decided not to be so judgmental. After all, she was the one who laid out his suits for him when she was alive.

Bill began to speak. “Hello folks. Thank you all for coming. I know that I was shocked when I heard the news about Tessie. And now, I just have to say that after nearly thirty years of being married to her, I can now say that I’m glad she’s dead.”

The only gasp in the room came from Tessie, and no one could hear it.

Bill continued. “For one thing, she would never shut up. All-day long, every day, she was always talking my ears off. Always yapping about her day, what needed to be done around the house, the people she dealt with at her job. Just non-stop. I remember years ago when my late Uncle Bobby showed up for dinner. Of course, no one to get a word in when Tessie was around. So, right in the middle of dinner, my uncle turned to me, and asked in a loud voice, ‘Will this woman ever shut up?’ That was the only time there was silence in our house for a whole hour.”

He turned to look at the coffin that held his wife’s bones. “Tess, so long and good luck in the afterlife, but please let God say a word or two before you start.”

The laughter and nods from the people tore through Tessie’s soul. She screamed and ranted. She yelled out every fault and shortcoming she knew about her widowed husband and even added a few nasty curses that she was taught never to use. But all that effort was for naught, and when her daughter stood up to take her father’s place, Tess knew that her daughter would air her grief, and tell her father what to do with himself.

Emily raised her head. “I know that Mom tried to be the best parent that she could, and she was a very caring mother, but my biggest problem with her is that she always thought of me as a child.”

She held up a large shopping bag. “Do you see this? This is a bag full of Barbie dolls that she has given me for the past eight years, and I stopped playing with dolls since I was twelve. And when I brought my boyfriend over for dinner a few weeks ago, she asked, ‘Who’s your little friend?’.”

With that she moved to the side of the coffin, and placed the bag inside. She was not behind the microphone that was placed on the podium, but Tess could still hear Emily’s words.

“Mom, I’m a grown woman now, and I wished you had treated me like one. Since you like dolls so much, you can take these with you.” With that said, she turned and sat back down at her father’s side.

Tessie couldn’t speak any more words as one by one, each of her friends got up just to say what they didn’t like about her, and that they were glad that she was gone. Then, her sister stood up and walked to the podium with tears in her eyes. Yes, Tessie thought, sweet Melissa would mourn her loss, and bid her dead sister a fond goodbye.

Melissa said, "I’m crying now because I don’t have to live in shame anymore. Bill and I have been having an affair for a couple of years now, and since Tessie is gone, we can now openly show our love. Also, my one regret with Tessie’s death is that she still owed me forty dollars.” Emily said that she would cover that debt, and Melissa thanked her as she sat back down.

Tessie could feel the warm light as her angel appeared at her side.

“Have you heard enough?”

Tess cried out that she was ready. If her eyes could form tears, they would be pouring down her face. She took the angel’s hand and they both glided out of the viewing room. As they moved toward a bright portal, she asked, "Did any of them love me?”

The angel just gave a small smile. “I’m sure they did, but love isn’t constant approval. And like I said earlier, funerals are for the living. Let’s leave the mortals with your mortal shell and step into eternity.”

They walked through the portal and were gone.