A Letter to My Father (15, unedited)

This is a letter from me, formally requesting you to ease up and stop controlling every aspect of my life. You may argue that you do not control every aspect of my life, but there is 15 years of data that would refute that argument. Ever since I was a child, you have planned out my life: where i go to school, what sports i played, ect. As I’ve grown up, the logical parental response would have been to loosen the reigns and allow me to start making some decisions for myself. This, however, has not been the case with you. The more I’ve grown, the more you’ve tried to shape my life. You told me what sports to play, who to be friends with, and how I should do in school. It got to the point where kids would exclude me from things because of how restrictive you were. I had to grow up in an environment where the only goal in sight was going to a prestigious college. Never once did I have a day of rest. I was signed up for summer camp after summer camp, and pushed into sports that you thought were beneficial to me. Not only that, but my grades had to be perfect as well. B’s were unacceptable, as were any grade under 100. You even asked me to get extra help in French when I had an A minus in the class. All the while concentrating on these aspects of my life, you showed little to no interest in my social or mental well being. You didn’t and don’t care if I have any friends, and part of the reason that I only have 3 or 4 is you. I grew up shy with poor social skills and you made little effort to help me. Part of the reason my mental health has gotten worse over the years is because I had to deal with real social anxiety all my life, while you simply wrote it off as “being shy.” As I began to transition from middle school to high school, the pressures mounted. No child should have to be sent away from home if they don’t want to, and that’s exactly what you did. Your obsession with summer programs is part of the reason I’m writing this. It wasn’t only that though. No kid should be subjected to the amount of standardized tests that I was. I’ve taken them so many times, that they’ve lost all meaning. At this point in high school, I have no energy to do anything of my own volition, all I do is what I’ve been told to do my whole life. I get good grades, I participate in varsity sports, I join clubs, do community service, and it’s still not enough for you. School is honestly one of the worst parts of my life, and now you want to carve out major parts of my summer to have me go to more school. You’re taking every last part of my life away from me. When I talked to the college guidance counselor, her exact words were, “oh you poor dear.” Even she could see how damaging you were. Everyone can see it but you. My friends’ parents talk to them about me and even mom thinks what you are doing is too much (although it’s unlikely that she’d tell you). I truly don’t think you realise what kind of irreparable damage you are doing to me, but I am here to tell you. If you could for once let go of your pride and listen, then maybe you’d see the error of your ways. I know you think that what you make me do is slightly difficult for me and that at the end of it all, I’ll be accepted to the school of my dreams and be forever grateful to you. That’s not it at all. Every day that you make no effort to change or listen to me, you cause a bigger rift to form between us. I may forgive, but I never forget, and every day I resent you a little bit more and more. So it’s up to you, keep going the way you are, and make my life a true living hell, or maybe listen to what I have to say and think of me as an actual person rather than some project that you can work to your liking.