Closet Daydream

Sometimes I think about all the sensations I'll never feel.

Her shaven legs against mine. The warmth of her soft hair in the sunlight. The small of her bare back as I embrace her close. Her delicate fingers brushing mine as we walk. That long-craved kiss, smooth and lingering, with a hint of mint chapstick. The tingle after seeing her silhouette through the shower door. Her generous, round breasts pressed against my small ones. Her sweet vanilla smell on the sheets.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I wouldn't change anything about the life I share with my boyfriend, my partner, my love. But sometimes I think it's good to grieve the parallel self I'll never know.