10 Reasons Why I Adore You

I adore the way you leave the filhy dishes on the table for me to clean, love yours truly.

I adore the way you hoggishly snore at night, leaving me with nothing to give the next day, love yours truly.

I adore the way you judge every outfit I wear, love yours truly.

I adore the way you look at me with great displeasure every night before bed, love your truly.

I adore the way you never text me when you're going to be home late, love yours truly.

I adore the way you often compare me to the hippos in the zoo enclosure, love yours truly.

I adore the way you endlessly talk about me with your stoner friends, love yours truly.

I adore the way you dismiss my opinions, each and every time, love yours truly.

I adore the way you sneer at the way I fold your stupid laundry, love yours truly.

I adore the way you're probably feeling right now, while I'm flying to Chicago to start a better life without you, leaving you alone with your own sad, miserable and bitter self...

-Love Yours Truly.