Five Things I Never Said Out Loud

(#5) When I look at my stove, I think of you. Because you are hot, like my stove is. Sometimes. But you are always that... hot, I mean, unlike my stove- which does cool down sometimes. Which you never do.

(#4) Let's all go down to the gastro-pub and fill ourselves with some glorious gasses. I call Shotgun!

(#3) Ed Sheeran showers more often than us earthlings all may think he does.

(#2) My zygote is chapped.

(#1) Can you please not leave your sesame sticks on the floor? They fracture easily, and I'm not in the mood for the stepping on them! Wait, Heidi Klum is on the TV.