You Always Looked So Happy

A mere three days ago, my world had changed forever. My mom announced her decision to file for divorce. My dad claimed he wouldn't let it happen. He was convinced he would somehow change her mind. But it was done. This wasn't a sudden decision. Even if he couldn't see it, I could.

My father had, of course, reached out to his own mother for support. Today, my grandmother had shown up unannounced with old photo albums, depicting various points in time in my childhood. I pressed myself against my closed bedroom door, listening intently. I was desperate to know what was happening but afraid to be pulled into the fray. I could hear them talking as Grandma flipped through the albums.

"Look, here. You always looked so happy."

"But a picture never tells the whole story. Anyone can fake it for a picture. Like this one here, I specifically remember that day. I had the kids all gathered and waiting. He was refusing to show up, saying it was stupid to take the picture. He had wanted us to stay home that day. When he finally showed up and you asked where he had been, he blamed me in front of his whole family saying that I just sprung the picture on him and that he was always waiting for me. That was how it was every time. That's how it has been for 17 years."

She was right. The pictures only showed a brief moment in time. It didn't show the struggles leading up to it, or the fights on the way home. It didn't show that after the picture was taken, he drifted away again, leaving Mom to wrestle four kids into coats and herd them towards the car. It didn't show the uncomfortable ride home where he complained the whole time that going there was stupid. It didn't show that he complained that she had spent too much money on Christmas again that year. It didn't show that the while he complained about her Christmas purchases, he spent his time watching porn online instead of looking for a new job.

Each picture showed a lie. After the picture was done and the audience was gone, the story changed. There was always a fight in progress, an argument, a battle. In the picture of him smiling holding a new little baby, no one would know that he later told that baby's mother that he wouldn't give her money for diapers. She should have planned better for her maternity leave. The diapers were her expense. In the picture of us on vacation, no one would know that she had to save up all of her own money, while still paying for school supplies, lunches, and bills, while his money went into a separate account. No one would know that he left after the picture, basically spending our whole family vacation on his own.

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, but how can that be when pictures are silent? Pictures can be faked, just like a happy marriage. Each picture showed something different, but they never told the whole story, the true story.

Can you truly judge a life based on a picture?

@AJAY9979