Today’s Interview

I know my worth. Yet, she doesn’t seem to have a clue.

I hand over a printed copy of my resume and she skims it over in effort to shape her first question. I can tell she hasn’t read it.

She hasn’t a clue what I have done, where I have come from or who I am. She only pretends to care because that is polite in an interview.

Yet, I know everything about her. I can tell confidence is manufactured purely by her professional accomplishments. I act impressed by these because that is what she needs. I am not an asshole, afterall.

She is not entirely comfortable with herself. Subtle changes in her voice give way to her insecurities. It is all too clear that she defines herself through her job and that, without it, she would not know who she is.

She is actually good at her job. Yet, has lost the passion for it. A remnant of a younger more free version of herself is revealed in her authentic smile. Yet, she suppresses this part of herself too.

She references the first sentence within my resume twice during the 40 minute interview. She cuts me off multiple times, answers a couple texts and attempts to use a bunch of professional jargon to try to through me off my game.

She does this because she thinks she has the power here. A small part of me felt sorry for her that she really has no clue how much she has conformed to the narrow-minded idea that a half-wrinkled suit jacket and mere 3 years of management experience puts her on top of the world.

So I sit patiently. I let her have her moment because I’m not oblivious to the fact that she has something she is trying to prove to herself here. That’s her internal battle today.

Like other bosses I have had in the past, I can tell she is no different. Similar to the others, her interest lies with the fact that I am a young accomplished female that she assumes is too naive to know her own worth. She tests her theory by trying to intimidate me with her words. She waits for the moment where I assume others habitually fall in line and begin accommodating her banter. Her face becomes painted with confusion as I offer no such accommodations.

She mistakes my kindness for a lack of confidence. Most do until they get to know me.

She begins to realize this as the interview endures.

All she sees is a young female she thinks she can bully because that is what the corporate world has taught her is okay. All her actions tell me is that she considers this a win because at least this time she is not the one being supressed, she is the supressor.

It's sad really.

She calls my bluff only to come to the delayed conclusion that I do actually know what I am doing. As a result her interest grows. Yet, to me, she has already lost.

You see, this is how the game goes. They have either shown me that they value me if I fall prey to their manipulation or they value me if I outsmart them within their own game. What they fail to realize is that I don’t play games.

Despite her gut, she tries to play hardball with me once more. She attempts to evidence why her opinion of my monetary worth is objective and accurate. Yet, even in her attempts to defend her offer she can’t help but reveal her own flaws in the language of her own argument.

I use her own data to help her better understand what the numbers mean before I decline the job offer and leave without truly showing her what I actually am worth. All she did was prove to me she doesn’t deserve to know.

I then decided to start my own company.