Fry your bRaInS (Nuts)
Good Morning and welcome to your favourite Talk Show, ‘FRY YOUR BRAINS’. Here’s a caution notice before we start: Going by your enormous positive feedback, our fledgling brainchild that’s just three episodes old, has started dreaming of progressing from BRAINS to NUTS. Ouch!
By the way, after decades of whining about ‘LIBERALIZATION’ and its effects, we still allude to the universal three letter word by... humping, thumping, romping, pumping, jumping…. I say, why the need for substitution? But I’m no Trump, and I ain’t referring to a certain Mr. Trump who goes around sharing his first name with a ducky that mostly roams about without pant bottoms. Arghh!!!
Not getting deviated though, I’m no Trump ‘Card’ to change the course of such games. Therefore, with no one to emancipate my ‘no substitution’ cause, the sweetest three letter darling is in dire identity crisis. Do it, but don’t spell it!
Ending such misery calls for a new metaphor, something not so taboo; a little civilized, something you could refer to without making your boss twitch in his pants. Sorry! The last part was unintentional.
Read somewhere though, that baseball is a good enough metaphor; let’s see how… 1-2-3 Innings, batters that don’t reach base, oops! Double play, bagger, wide-ones, and…. hole. Shit, it’s getting kind of gross with balls and holes…. So, let’s search for other possibilities.
If everything’s already been considered fair in love and war, the latter wouldn’t be an inept metaphor either. Cannonballs, missiles, blockade, booby trap, frontal assault, rear assault, sack, pole, pike, breastwork, murder hole…. The possibilities are endless, yet might make people squirm around you (pronounced as EEW!). So, let’s drop that too; but secretly, whoever knew that war would be as good a metaphor for love…. making!
Well, how about Pizza then? Got that on the internet too. Let’s say, she’s game as a pizza. Believes in sharing, rather than ugly competition like baseball…. Enjoy the cheesiness…. (ahem), and share the pleasure and enjoyment…. That’d be fine by all means, but then, I might as well hang myself, with all the feminists prowling around….
But then, I heard them cackle when a son-of---- Sorry! For getting too carried away by my emotions… I heard self-proclaimed women’s rights activists cackling when an anti-male rights activist casually commented that ‘Men should be allowed to cross-dress and wear skirts; it would be easier for them’. Now, isn’t that sexist?
But society is comprised of a bunch of morally compromised hypocrites. Referring to sex as in gender is fine by us, but referring to sex for sex is bad. How on earth did the concept of gender even come without the general premise of sex as sex as in sex, of sex and for sex? Coming to think of it, why do we say son-of-a----? You know what….
But my question is… Why not daughter-of-someone?
I know though, that society considers this the most sexually balanced form of verbal abuse. How excellent! But that hardly changes the interminable problem that has been roasting me, as in seething with anger…. So, I guess it’s high time we drop it. Sleep tight and hope someone has a flash of serendipity in this regard…. As for now, FRY YOUR BRAINS is still all about brains, because the other option would be too ’sex’ist!