I Was Not Built To Last

I'm not able to see the future,

And that terrifies me.

I cannot tell where I am going, where I will end, or even where I am now-

I just know it's not a good place.

I'm holding my breath.

Waiting for the future,

Surviving in the present,

And forgetting about the past.

I'm suffocating.

My world is black and blue,

Darker than a bruise and more deadly than a knife.

I'm not sure how much fight is left in me,

I just know it's not enough to last my whole life, if that's all my life is.

I'm losing my breath.

It whistles through my teeth

As the sacred molecules slip away.

My life force is ebbing-

I was not built to last.

I am a seasonal home, where seasons never repeat.

I am nonrenewable- I can never be salvaged.

I am lost- never to be found.

…and that terrifies me.