RENT and AIDS Epidemic: ‘minutes’ in my life
I went to college in the 90s in the Midwest. One of the things that bound my friends and I was a love of theatre, of performance and creativity, and how that helped a queer group of kids through high school long enough to make it to college. RENT was a shared experience we routinely revisited through the soundtrack, bursts of song in the dorm lounge, and loving (both platonic and intimate) in our dorm rooms. We saw ourselves in those characters and we embraced who we were, in part, because of the courage they gave us. Roger, Collins, Mimi, and (most important to me) Angel were, also, reminders of the danger our community was in.
It was thoughts of Collins and Angel that sat with one friend and I as we faced the prospect of him having contracted HIV. The knowledge of how the virus could change our lives was often buried beneath our young denials and fumbling attempts to maintain the illusion of invulnerability, but it was always crouched in the shadows, except for moments like these when it pounced. We were moved by Collins and Angel, we were inspired by them, and we mimicked their lines and their love, but we also feared becoming them. We were among the children lucky enough not to.
Angel would sit with me again, years later, when an ex-called me to admit he had an STD while we were together. Making amends for past wrongs was part of his 12 steps. Telling me which STD he had was not one of those steps. Angel came to me as I absorbed this revelation. Was Angel’s end destined to be my end? Did I have the courage, the audacity, to live as loud and fully as Angel in the face of an AIDS diagnosis? I didn’t have the answers for that. I didn’t have the courage to find out, either. At least, not on my own.
One of the biggest things I took from RENT was the importance of community and finding strength in each other. It was only with the support of friends that I faced the terror of being tested. I was fortunate. Whatever my ex-boyfriend had, he did not pass it on to me. I will never know if I would have had the strength Angel carried, but I carry Angel with me still and the question “Are you okay, honey?” has become the one I ask most when talking to my friends.
Fox’s broadcast of RENT has brought these memories back into my present. Good memories. Painful memories. Hopeful memories. And it reminds me of the fight we still need to fight.
The AIDS epidemic is ongoing. 36.8 million people worldwide are living with AIDS and 2 million of them were newly infected within the last year. Of them, gay men and trans women continue to be the population most impacted and the least able to access care.
The villain in this story isn’t a young landlord who feigns friendship as he kicks you out. It’s Gilead Sciences, the company advertising during the Fox broadcast. Gilead holds the patent on a preventive pill and, because they don’t allow generics to be made, they set the price for that pill. They’ve set it at $1,600 per month. Putting it out of reach of the uninsured population who most needs the medication.
If you can, please donate to or volunteer at groups like ACT UP (a diverse non-partisan group committed to take action to end the AIDS crisis and support the most vulnerable populations), Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, or AIDS United.