Helpless

Sometimes I would call your name just to see your hair dance and eyes give me attention.

I swear that I loved you and tear up anytime you are mentioned.

It wasn’t your time, Champ. I could’ve done more to ease the pain in your joints.

The vet says you lived a long life and to be fair he made good points.

But he doesn’t know everything you’ve done for me, nor the comfort you brought.

There’s irony in your discomfort and how hard you must have fought.

I’m so sorry Champ, my decision was selfish, seemed easy, and made far too quick.

Your eyes showed plenty of life and this makes me feel sick.

Your golden hair danced like never before as I carried you in to the vet.

You were my brother, you were my friend, and that day is my biggest regret.

Oh the way you looked at me as that needle dug in your leg,

You were confused and betrayed, and soon to be dead.

I had no right to do what I did.

I convinced myself you were at your end.

But you weren’t. I’m sorry.