Scattering Ashes

I watched as the cars went by, sitting on the front step, wondering what each drivers' story was. There were families plastered with happy faces or upset kids and tired mothers. In my family, something always seemed to be missing, like something wasn't seen.

“Get up Jane, the cars packed, and it's time to go,” my moms' voice boomed. She walked to the car, followed by my brother and sister, all ready to go to the airport. I followed last and sat in the back seat, squished by the luggage. I opened my phone to be blasted by the high brightness for 5 am. Soon enough, we would be in the sky going far away from here, at least temporarily.

I fell asleep for the duration of the car ride and awoke at the airport. We walked in and looked around for my half-brother, who was meeting us there. I have always liked observing people around me, querying what their stories are, why they are leaving Canada, or why they are coming. It was extra busy as it was summer, a time for vacation, and faces seemed to merge as people scurried by. I could not see each face, just the space they took up.

“We found your brother, get up jane. Lily and Jack already joined him to get coffee, hurry up if you want a drink or something” My mom pointed to my older siblings standing in line, the tallest being George, my half brother. I joined them to ask for just an iced coffee, then sat at a little bench I saw close by and put in my earbuds, waiting to be rushed by my mom again. I could not help but wish my dad was here, but that scenario was impossible since we were going to Mexico to spread his ashes. I packed light for the trip, so I had the jar of his ashes in my luggage. His ashes somehow made me feel more connected to him, which made spreading them so bittersweet. My mom started walking towards my direction, followed by my siblings holding their coffee and mine, that's when it happened. She walked past me. She kept walking, looking around frantically until yelling out my name. I was so confused she walked past me did she not notice me? I yelled back, but my voice brought no solution. She turned around and started walking towards me, maybe she did hear me, but instead, she sat next to me on the bench and stared at my luggage.

Not at me, just the luggage, George approached and said: “do you think she went to the bathroom?”

“No.” Her voice was sharp and certain “She must have been taken.”

“Hey, do not jump to conclusions, we can not know for sure, she wanders around sometimes, let's just look for her.” Persisted George

“No” her voice was audibly louder, and she continued “We are going to miss our flight, we have to go, we can alert somebody on our way to the gate.” George looked stunned at my mom's reaction while Lily and Jack seemed almost frightened by her tone. She started to walk away and urged the rest of my family to follow.

“What about her suitcase?” Lily chimed in

“We won't be allowed the extra carryon for just us four, leave it there.” mom replied. I could not begin to grasp my situation, but at least I still had my dad's ashes with me. Why would she leave them behind though they were the whole reason for this trip. Something unsettling was lurking in my family, but I was invisible now. I looked to my arms, once covered in minor imperfections I wish would disappear, now they had entirely disappeared. There was no trace of my being. My shouts were not heard, and my skin was not seen.

“CAN ANYBODY, ANYBODY AT ALL HEAR ME, SEE ME, HELP ME PLEASE” I didn't know what to do but yell.

“JANE?” A voice shouted, it sounded so familiar, it couldn't be, but was it? My dad. There he was in the rolling stones tee and cargo shorts I thought he died wearing. He was in front of me in the flesh, or whatever he was. No one looked at us, no one acknowledged our reunion because no one saw us.

“How can you see me? How can you be here?” I had never thought I would see him again, let alone in these circumstances. “OH MY GOD, DID I DIE” the thought had not even hit me till this moment, did I die, did I lose the memory of my death, is that why only I can see him.

“No, you did not die, neither did I. We’re invisible.” I couldn't believe the words he was saying. “That day in the hospice should have been my last, but your mother found some unreliable website stating how to become invisible for 24 hours. It went on to say while invisible you couldn't die and would have a day of unseen fun. She bought it immediately. I still don't know why she believed such a thing, but I drank the stuff because it gave her hope for another day together. That was a month ago, and while crazy as it is that it worked, it hasn't stopped working, and your mother couldn't hear me like she thought she could when I changed.” I couldn't understand, I lived in a world of black and white no grey space, this should not even be possible. Was this better than him being dead though, to live unseen and invisible, not being able to move on to heaven or hell or whatever is out there?

“Why am I invisible and whose ashes are these?” Those were the two most troubling questions I had.

“That tea you drank last night was meant for your mother. She diluted hers, so you probably didn't tell it was off. As for the ashes, I think your mom was ashamed, that's why she made that tea, to join me and she faked my death. I should be dead, so it must not have been hard, the ashes are just some fake ones she bought." I have been living with a lie, why wouldn't she tell me my dad was alive and was my mom just going to abandon me and turn invisible. No wonder she rushed off so quickly, she knew I was here.

“Does that mean my invisibility will wear off in 24 hours?”

“It should” I couldn't help but smile, 24 hours with my dad, what more could I want? I always felt invisible in my family, so it isn't a hard choice.

“Do you have more?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little flask and handed it to me, and I drank it all “So dad, now that we are invisible, what country do you want to visit?”